This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

This is a work of fiction, any resemblance to real people or places is purely coincidence.

Content warnings for transphobic laws restricting transition of minors, accidental and at request misgendering and deadnaming, and separation of a trans girl from her parents simply because she is trans and they support her.

Thursday:

I awoke with a start, much earlier than usual, the sun had just risen and I laid there looking at the ceiling in the curtain induced twilight, and I decided why not, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom and got ready for the day.

Grandma was already at the table, sipping coffee

Good morning Josh she greeted me

Morning Grandma I said, and I went to use the bathroom and get ready for the day a bit.

I came out and saw Karen just coming out of her room and stretching, and heading to the bathroom herself

Want to help with breakfast?

Sure I said, what are we making?

Waffles!

Oh yum

We got out ingredients and she had me get the waffle maker down and we got it heating while we mixed up a batch of batter

Grandma also got a skillet and some sausage heating as she insisted protein was an important part of breakfast

I made waffles for her and Karen and then asked, can I put chocolate chips in mine?

She laughed, ok, sure, but only if you clean the maker later because they make it so messy

Ok, I can do that, and I got out some chocolate chips and mixed them in the remaining batter before pouring it in to the maker and closing it, then rotating it, and finally popping them out on to my plate

Oh that smells wonderful Karen said coming out of the bathroom freshly showered

We sat down and made up our waffles with syrup and butter and dug in and it was wonderful.

Oh these are good, thank you Grandma!

You should thank Josh, he made the batter and cooked them

You really did excellent

I also did a lot on the deviled eggs yesterday

Oh in that case you are an egg-celent cook Karen said laughing

And it got both of us laughing too, an old and terrible pun perhaps but it was still good to laugh

So, Grandma said after we finished cleaning and putting away things, you said you would talk more today, are you ready?

I got nervous, uh, kind of,

We wandered over to the couches and Grandma and Karen sat down and Grandma gestured for me to join her but I shook my head no

I think I should stand for this

Ok grandma said smiling, what’s up kiddo

I’ve been… aware of and struggling with who I am for awhile, you may have noticed I pulled away the last couple years. I… I realized I might be trans… and I laughed a bit nervously, and continued… and I’m just realizing I’ve never said that out loud even to myself… And my voice trailed off there, and I stood there thinking, and eventually continued I’m sorry, I don’t really know what all to say

Grandma said it’s ok, take your time, we’ve got tons of time

I… I wish I had been born a girl like Karen, and that seems, selfish and maybe jealousy driven? I don’t know why, we weren’t treated that much differently, I thought it was a phase, and it just kept sticking around, and then I learned trans people exist because the state is trying to make them illegal especially kids and I started reading and it was just like, oh, that’s what this is, and the more I read, the more things from growing up and now clicked in. I hate that puberty is starting, I don’t want this at all I said and I started tearing up, it’s not fair, and I have to hide until I can run away to someplace safe to be me and all that time things will happen that I don’t want and can’t stop. Last week my voice cracked and I was so horrified…

And at that point I just started bawling, and Karen and grandma both got up off the couch and came over and hugged me tightly

I couldn’t stop, the tears wouldn’t stop, we stayed like this for what felt like hours but must have been no more than a few minutes

Shhhh grandma said, it’s ok sweetie, and you don’t have to wait and you especially don’t have to run away

But it’s a felony, I even know a girl who got taken away from her parents at school, it’s happening and horrible…

And I guarantee that will absolutely not happen to you Grandma said hugging me tighter

And what about my parents? What will they think??

If my son or daughter in law have anything but love and support for you I will eat my own hat! And then I will still figure out how to protect you!

I love you Karen said, and we have to find a way to work this out, it’s not fair that you are in this amount of distress just for wanting to be who you are.

Kid if I have to help you and your parents and your sister move out of state I absolutely will, I love you and we will let no harm come to you or your parents, ok?

I nodded still crying

And today, how about we explore a bit? Here in the house anyways, and I know Karen’s got extra clothes and isn’t too far off your size, and I’ve got a few boxes of clothing from you two and some of your cousins around that might have things that fit

Karen said of course you can try my things on, happy to share with you

I sniffled, really? But what if…

Leave the what ifs for later grandma said, let’s let you see how you could look in the here and now

The hug broke up and I was still crying but it was winding down

Karen said can I call you sister now? In private

I… guess? For now

Ok sister, wait right here, I’m going to bring you a pile of things to try on

I stood there smiling through the still stopping tears at grandma, I love you

I know sweetie, and I love you granddaughter and she beamed at me and I came over and gave her another hug with tears, of joy and and not sadness

Karen came back in the room with multiple outfits in tow, here you are sister she said and then looked up, oh Pooh, you moved!

I laughed and came over and took the pile from her

Try them on, if they fit and you want, come out and show us! And know that you won’t look completely right at first no matter what, there’s a lot of little things to being a girl you need to learn she said grinning

I laughed, I’m sure you will be a good teacher.

I took the clothes back to my room, she had included shorts and a t-shirt, a pair of shortalls, and a sun dress

When I got to my room, I set the stack down, and realized that Karen had included a training bra and a pair of panties

I cracked my door back open, and asked, uh, is it ok to wear these things? All of them?

I heard Karen giggle, yes silly, don’t worry it’s all clean

I closed the door, staring the pile of garments, could I? Should I? I really wanted to… I found myself undressing from my pj’s on autopilot, and I decided to start with the shorts and t-shirt, I put on the training bra and panties, and I couldn’t quite understand why but it made me giggle looking down. I quickly put the rest of it on and looked in the mirror in the bedroom. I didn’t really see a girl staring back, but I certainly wasn’t a boy, and I smiled. I posed for a bit, imitating things I had seen characters do on tv…

when an impatient Karen called out you ok in there sis?

I snapped out of it and cracked the door, promise you won’t laugh?

We promise Grandma said

I padded in my bare feet out in to the living room, so, what do you think?

You make a very cute girl Grandma said, but I knew you would

You really do look cute sis, but come here, she said dragging me to the bathroom and quickly futzing with my hair a bit, and then took her lip gloss out of her pocket and quickly applied it to me, and then turned me to face the mirror and the resemblance was uncanny, we looked like the twins we are, not quite identical but really close

We came back out and grandma asked if she could take a couple pics and I hesitated

It’s ok sis, I’ll make sure they get put in her hidden folder right after this

I blushed, thanks sis, ok,

We posed in various ways, while grandma grabbed some shots

Ok, want to try on the other things?

I nodded vigorously, and ran off to my bedroom, deciding to try the sundress next, I managed to get it on facing the right way, and went and looked in the mirror and immediately felt the urge to spin, and nearly fell over, but I laughed loudly and before they could come inquiring burst out of my room and skipped out to the middle

Well someone likes this Karen said

I nodded grinning from ear to ear, and grandma got a couple more pictures, and after I relayed why I had laughed Karen insisted on showing me how and then Grandma got video of me doing an ok job at twirling and not falling over

Last outfit! I said and hurried off, taking the dress off and throwing the t-shirt back on, and pulling up the shortalls, which were surprisingly comfy and felt way girlier feeling than I expected

I came outside and grandma insisted on a couple more pics. Karen took me back to her room and helped me try a few different things with my hair and we just chatted as if we had always been sisters, and I guess we kind of had been

Ok kiddos, lunch time! Grandma called and in response my stomach rumbled

Oh wow I called is it really already that time?

Yup!

We made our usual sandwiches and enjoyed just chatting, I never wanted to change

So… Josh, have you thought of a name? Karen asked

I, uh, no, I didn’t even entertain that thought

Hrm, grandma said, I believe your parents had planned on Brooke if they had known you were a girl when you were born

Ooh! Karen said, that’s nice

I laughed, Brooke, and Karen, two very white, white girl names

Karen laughed, just think of our combined managerial summoning power!

Grandma laughed, just promise you will only ever use that power for the good of others and only with their permission

Absolutely we said solemnly in unison, crossing our hearts

So you like the name?

I… don’t not like it anyways I said smiling, its worth trying for now

Yay! Karen said

You two look so much more alike now… it’s honestly kind of surprising what a bit of lip gloss, slightly different brushed hair and a smile can do

So what do you two want to do this afternoon?

Karen looked at me, I uh, I think I just want to stay in, so I don’t have to change

Well I’m staying in too then Karen announced, could even give you a makeover if you wanted Brooke

And then maybe just talk and enjoy this for awhile?

Sure, absolutely Karen said, she went to get some of her limited things and we sat down at the table. As she did things to my face, she described the what she was doing, and why, and had a little mirror she let me watch in as she did it. It was fascinating how some random things could make much a difference, and by the end I hardly recognized myself, and then we adjourned to her room and just sat there talking, like we used to talk, before the last two years. About life, and dreams and hopes and tv shows and everything in between.

I completely lost track of time when the doorbell rang, I froze in terror, the room Karen stayed in was actually a den with big double doors that were open right next to the front door.

Karen reassured me it was ok and got up and walked over and closed the doors, while Grandma came to answer the door

I heard Grandma loudly say well hello Jessica! done with life guarding already today?

Yup! I had the midday shift today

I looked at Karen who shrugged and I got up and we both walked over to the door

Its ok girls she said, its just Jessica

My jaw went wide as Karen opened the door

Grandma… I said, what if I hadn’t told her about me?

Brooke, I get its super important to keep private, but lets be honest here, Jessica knew even if you didn’t tell her explicitly I bet

Brooke’s a cute name Jessica said

I blushed, its ok, grandma says its what my parents were thinking of if they had known I was a girl, Im trying it for now

She came over and hugged me, you are so adorable Brooke, are you enjoying it?

I nodded breaking the hug a bit grinning, it is everything I ever wanted… my voice trailing off a bit

Well we just need to figure out how to let you keep being Brooke, Jessica said and smiled at me and pulled me back in tighter

Do your grandparents know you are here?

Yup! I stopped there to change and drop stuff off before coming over here, and let them know I might be over here for supper if you’ll have me

Of course you can dear

So what are you up to besides being cute? Jessica asked

Brooke and I were having the best conversation we had had in years, why don’t you join us?

Sure Jessica replied, we all retreated back in to Karen’s room and this time left the doors more closed, once we were settled Jessica started again, So your first time as you! Exciting

Yeah I said smiling, its great

Karen’s clothes?

Yup

They suit you! and nice job on the makeup

Also Karen I said

You’ll learn! or you won’t, no harm either way, my mom doesn’t wear makeup, I rarely do, its not exactly pool friendly after all

So… I started, I’ve read things, not much, I have to be careful, but are you on blockers?

Jessica nodded, yup, weekly injections

How do… how do you do that here?

Mom ships vials here in discrete, sturdy packaging in amongst other things in a care package, and we get the needles locally for ostensibly valid reasons

huh, I said, thats cool

Yeah, it feels a bit secret agent-y at times, but it works! No one’s the wiser

We chatted for a bit about clothes, and transition and this stupid state and what we could do to help me sooner and better than me turning 18 and running away, but it drifted back to lighter topics eventually

So… Karen said, with a certain gleam in her eye that I knew meant an idea was forming… you mentioned you like going to Disney

I do! Jessica said, I don’t get to wear costumes anymore because I got too old, but its still a lot of fun, and they do well with my food allergy

Oh! I didn’t know you were allergic I said, hopefully the stuff we brought…

Your grandma knew already and used a safe recipe for the deviled eggs and you probably didn’t notice I didn’t dress my potato very fancy

Oh, Karen said, I hadn’t noticed either

No worries! it’s fine, I could’ve gotten out stuff to make a fancier one but didn’t feel like it.

So Karen said… would you want to go with us? Maybe Saturday? We all have passes

Ooh… I would… I don’t have a shift scheduled that day

Which park would we want to go to? I asked

Oh, uh, Magic Kingdom maybe? Jessica said, Go for the classic traditional one?

That sounds nice I said, we haven’t been to it in awhile

You should totally go as Brooke! Karen suddenly said

You totally should! Jessica chimed in, The parks are huge and mostly filled with out of state people who you will never see again, and most won’t give any second thought to a third girl in a group

Yeah… but aren’t our passes tied to our name? Josh isn’t exactly a girly name

Oh, Karen said, you’re right, well, you could go in as ‘Karen’! I could go in as ‘Josh’! Just swapsies for the day

You wouldn’t mind being a boy?

Nahhh, not for a day

Oh thank you Karen I said going over to her and hugging her, that would be wonderful, but I doubt grandma will agree to it

It never hurts to ask! Jessica said

It can I said…

Yeah, I guess it could, but I really doubt it in this case Karen said

Kids, time to figure out supper! Grandma called from outside the room

Ok grandma! be out in a moment Karen called

So… she asked quieter?

I… guess we can ask… I really would like to get to go once at least as me…

Ok then!

So you know what you want for supper? I’ve got stuff here for Spaghetti and a few other things

Ooh, Spaghetti sounds good! Jessica said

Want to help? Happy to teach how to make red sauce and meatballs

I can make the pasta Karen said

Sounds good Grandma said

So uh, grandma, theres something we want to discuss as an idea I said quietly before we got too invested in the cooking…

Shoot! Whats on your girls minds?

We want to go to Disney on Saturday, Jessica said

Oh thats fine, sure! Love a trip to see the mouse, you all have your passes with you?

Yes Grandma, Karen said

Is that it? Brooke made it sound like something more

I uh, stammered a bit, I want to go as a girl, we have a plan, I’ll use Karen’s pass and she will use mine

Hrm… well you are right, that would require some discussion… Lets work on making supper while I think about it, and we can discuss while eating

Ok grandma I said, thank you for at least not saying no right away

Of course dear! I can tell this means a lot to you, and therefore it deserves my careful consideration

Ok, so, I use canned tomato’s for this, but otherwise it starts with some olive oil, and garlic, and she started that going while showing us all the steps and smells along the way

There wasn’t much discussion of anything besides cooking as we stirred and and added things, and put a skillet on to cook the meatballs, which grandma got out of a package because it was too much effort and not enough gain for making them yourself usually

Finally we had all the bits ready and assembled our plates of pasta, red sauce, some meatballs, and garlic bread and sat down at the table

Oh it all smells so wonderful Jessica said, to be honest my grandparents rarely cook this well

Grandma laughed, first two nights we ate out and Tuesday night we ordered in Chinese food, but its good to cook sometimes, and the meal last night was lovely

Fair enough Jessica said, and last nights was pretty good, your contributions helped too

We talked about various things during dinner, but not Disney until we were about all done

So… Disney… grandma started

What are your thoughts?

First, I’m not opposed to it per se, this state is… terrible… but there are some bits of it that are quite good, and the parks are fun to visit, and funner when you aren’t hiding who you are… Second, I will need to confirm with your grandparents Jessica that this is ok, it could put you at greater risk, if by some chance Brooke was outed, you could be outed as well. Third… I think you might need some clothes of your own for this, but that I need to think about how we can do that safely some more… Fourth, and finally, there are risks here, and ultimately I need you, Brooke, to understand that, and I know you do, but this is your decision, if you decide to, Ill do everything I can to help it go smoothly

My eyes lit up and I smiled huge, we can do it? I got up and hugged grandma still sitting in her chair

If, IF you accept the risks, and IF, Jessica’s grandparents agree its ok

I do, I know its a huge risk, and I’ve lived in fear for two years, today’s been the first day I felt joy in a very long time

I know sweetie, and Jessica?

I think they will be ok with it, but yeah, we should maybe at least let my parents know too

Ok, lets get your grandparents on the phone she said looking to Jessica. Grandma got up and got her phone and came back and dialed Marge and Bill’s house, and put it on speaker on the table.

When the other end picked up grandma immediately said Hello! The girls have come up with an idea to go to Disney on Saturday, and I’ve agreed in principle to take them, but there’s a twist here… Grandma looked at me, and I nodded. Turns out my grandson is my granddaughter, as I kind of suspected last night, anyways, she wants to go as herself. She and her sister have cooked up a plan to swap passes for the day, but it is a risk, she’s obviously brand new to this, and if she should get outed, it could put Jessica at risk too…

Wouldn’t that be a risk to you as well? Marge asked over the phone sounding concerned

It is, but I would do anything for my granddaughter

I totally understand, we would do anything for Jessica, Bill said

Well it’s fine with us if its fine with Jessica Marge said, she knows the level of risk she’s comfortable with. You’ll be driving?

Yes Grandma said, it’s a bit tight in the mini with 4 of us, but we will manage. Oh, one last thing before I go, is it ok if I take the girls out for ice cream tonight?

Sounds fine to us! Just drop her back off here when you get back, and remember her allergy

Jessica sighed, yes grandma, she knows, it’s fine, love you, see you after awhile

Love you Jessica, see you later

Talk with you later Marge grandma said, and hung the phone up

So… ice cream I said? as in getting in a car and going out? Like this?

If you want! its after dark, and you don’t have to go in, Karen or Jessica can help me carry out our orders and we can eat it in the car

And Jessica’s allergy Karen asked?

Oh right, dairy correct? Hrm, thats not great for ice cream…

Its ok! There’s a ben & jerry’s shop not too far from here, and they’ve got non dairy flavors usually

Oh great! Lets head there then

We headed to the garage and Jessica and I got in back while Karen rode up front, I started breathing a bit hard as Grandma opened the garage door and we pulled out but Jessica snuck her hand over and place it gently on me and smiled, and mouthed at me, its ok

Grandma said you two ok back there? as we pulled out on to the street

Yes grandma I said, just nervous

Think of it as a first trial for Saturday Karen said

I nodded

We left the neighborhood and headed the several miles to the address the map software had provided and we turned in to the parking lot I got nervous again but Jessica just tapped my hand and I calmed down

Ok, what do you two want? She asked Jessica and I as she and Karen got out to go inside

Change the Whirled if they have it Jessica said, otherwise whatever they have thats non dairy

Something with chocolate and caramel for me, phish food if they have it

Sounds good! We will be back, and if needed we will call for clarification or adjustment! Karen said and they walked inside

Jessica looked over at me after they were out of earshot

How you holding up?

I’m ok, its fun being outside, a bit of a thrill, I didn’t think this was possible

Glad you are enjoying yourself, Ill never forget my first time outside as myself

How long ago was it?

Oh its been quite awhile, I transitioned socially when I was nine

Oh… I said quietly, is it ok if I said I was a bit jealous of that?

It’s fine, it’s a perfectly valid feeling, but the important thing is you are you, and whether you transition now, or a decade from now or six decades, you are you and its never too late

I looked sad, I honestly doubt I could even have made it to eighteen without falling apart, knowing and not being able to do anything about it has been hard

She nodded, I have a few friends who have gone through similar, most ultimately made it, one unfortunately did not, and she looked sad

It was my turn to put my hand on top of hers, Im sorry

She turned and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, it is what it is! You know, we are just trying to be who we are, anyways, enough sadness, tonight is a night of celebration, hooray for Brooke, and her first night out!

I smiled, you’re right

We chatted a bit, and we exchanged some contact info while we waited, and then Grandma and Karen got back

You two are in luck! What you were both after was in stock and she handed us ours then took hers from grandma while she got in the car and came around and got in the front passenger seat.

You two have a nice chat while we were inside? Karen asked

Yes, lovely I said, Jessica gave me some tips for Saturday

Well and I’ve been thinking, for some clothes just for you, we could go shopping with you as Josh while Karen tries on clothes and you decide what you like, you are close enough in size and all, just have to sit there and look bored…

I laughed, that might be hard, even though I’ve had a fair bit of practice at it, but I can do my best

We dug in to our ice cream, it was very good, and then I accidentally dripped a bit on my shortalls, oh drat I said, Im such a slob

It’s ok Karen said, theres a washing machine, and its denim, its pretty sturdy

Jessica giggled, girls make messes too

I laughed, we finished our ice cream and started the drive home. We left the top down because with two of us in the back seat it was quite cramped

We pulled in to the neighborhood and dropped Jessica in front of her grandparents, and she actually hopped over the side of the mini rather than making Karen get out, which caused grandma to tuttut at her but then she laughed, oh you spry young things, before driving one house more and pulling in to grandma’s garage.

Karen and grandma got out and I wormed my way from the backseat properly, Grandma said as we got inside, go on Brooke, get changed in to some pj’s, and we will get those shortalls washing before bed

I hesitated, Karen, do you have a spare set of pj’s with you?

I do, although Ill need to wash mine tomorrow probably if we are sharing them, but thats fine

She ran off to her room and met me at mine with them.

I quickly changed out of my shortalls and t-shirt and put on the pj’s which consisted of a cami top which left my shoulders bare which was an unusual feeling, and a pair of shorts that made the shorts I had worn earlier feel tiny, but they fit well enough. I hesitated but opened the door and took my stuff to the laundry room, where Grandma was already loading up a load to do before bed.

Oh those are cute on you, should get Karen to help you get the makeup off before bed she said and finished loading the washing machine

Karen was already waiting by my bathroom with some supplies, and helped me remove the makeup, I looked in the mirror and still saw me thankfully, thanks Karen I said, for everything

You are absolutely welcome sis she said hugging me

We sat up chatting for a bit waiting for the load swap, and after things were running in the dryer, all three of us retired to our rooms.

---

Friday:

Sleep still came easily thankfully, and my dreams were the clearest and most euphoric yet…

But right at the end of sleep the dreams twisted, I was running, scared. I awoke with a start, short of breath, sweating. I threw off the covers and swung my legs out of bed, seeing more of them than I usually did. Oh right. I slept in Karen’s PJ’s I thought, and giggled a bit, forgetting the panic of a moment before. I opened the door and came out and saw Karen already eating bacon, scrambled eggs and toast

Karen looked up, morning sis!

Good morning Brooke Grandma said, plenty of food on the counter, make yourself a plate

Morning I said, smiling faintly as I assembled a plate of breakfast

Did you sleep ok?

For the most part, I woke up in a panic from a bad dream, but then I saw myself and I’m feeling ok

Well thats good Karen said, you looking forward to going shopping today?

I grinned, yes, even if I have to go as boring old Josh.

Just remember, boredom and disinterest

I’ll do my best I grinned

Grandma said, I had one… other thought… as a surprise, and Ill let you know at the end of the day if you are good and things fall in to place, she said winking at us

Ooh… I said, wonder what it is?

You’ll see

We finished our breakfast chatting about stores we might go to, and we settled on going to a local indoor mall to beat the heat, and have a wider variety of stores to try.

After the dishes were cleaned and put away, Grandma said, ok, before we go, you do need to remove the nail polish, I’ve got remover if needed

Jessica said it was peel off

Oh those never last, let me look Grandma said, and I held out my hands, yup, a number of them already came off

I hadn’t even noticed I said

Its ok, we can redo them tonight for tomorrow with something that wont peel on you on Saturday Karen chimed in, if you want that is

We most certainly can Grandma said

I nodded, picking at the rest of them which quickly came off

We’ll go get changed ‘Josh’ grandma said using air quotes

I went and reluctantly put on my old clothes for the first time in all of a day and they felt… so bad… I hated them more than I ever had. When I came out Grandma said ok kids, this is how this goes, Brooke, you are bored brother drug Josh along with sister and grandma to shop, classic, boring. We will start with the Target at the mall, which is not the close target for some basics, and then we will peruse a few stores in the mall after lunch. Everyone ok with that?

Yes ma’am I said

Also, I think a handy way in general to communicate you would like something is simply to tap me like you are impatient, or tap your foot, and if you want to try and direct our attention to something, like, roll your eyes and roll your head to aim roughly at it

Got it, I said

Good, ok, let’s get headed out!

We hopped in the car and since it was much hotter today Grandma put the top up and cranked the AC, Karen gave me the front saying today would be hard enough on me.

It took a bit to get to the mall, and we parked near the anchor Target and went inside. Grandma grabbed a shopping cart, Karen practically skipped on ahead and I shoved my hands in my pockets, slumped my shoulders, through a mild pout on my face and trudged on behind them.

When we came to the girls clothing area, grandma first stopped us in the underwear and socks area, where she had me discretely nod at a few things, and we got the same sized my sister got for those. We then went to find some shorts and a couple t-shirts and again we did the thing, but this time with Karen taking them in, and her and Grandma speculating what Brooke would like.

This continued on for a bit, with me discretely letting grandma know by tapping her. When we had our stuff selected we started to walk out, I walked on ahead and I noticed they took a moment, and I looked back and rolled my eyes and they caught right back up.

What was that about I asked trying to sound annoyed

We just saw something Brooke might like and had to grab it too.

I glanced in the shopping cart and nearly went faint. It was a girls one piece with the same pattern as the trunks we had bought on Monday night.

Ah, I said, I’m sure it will be fine for her. I’ll be outside waiting if that’s fine

You mean in the mall? We have some more stores to hit Josh…

Oh fine… don’t know why she needs this much anyways I said, maybe laying it on a bit thick.

I walked out in to the mall and nearly burst out laughing but I composed myself and quickly rebuilt the charade, pulled my phone out and flopped on a bench. Shortly grandma and Karen came out holding a couple bags of the clothing and in truth I already thought this was more than enough, where was I even going to wear it?

Karen came over and held a bag put, mind helping carry things at least?

Yeah sure I mumbled and reluctantly took the sack.

Ok, it’s about lunch time, let’s go see what’s on offer at the food court grandma said

Lead on I said, making sure to maintain my guise. As we walked I thought it was surprising how much more difficult it was than usual, I had to actually think about it, how did I do this before?

We got to the food court and I opted for a burger while Grandma and Karen headed to the Japanese place.

I stood in line, looking at my phone, feeling more self conscious than ever. I got my food and saw them just getting theirs and we met up and found a table that was just barely big enough for us in the fairly busy food court.

Karen whispered at me closely to avoid being heard over the din, how you doing?

Tired, it’s a lot harder than I remember to do this

Oh, are you ok? Do we need to stop now?

No, I think I’m ok.

Ok

Grandma looked at us and smiled, ok, where else should we hit? Grandma and Karen started discussing stores at a more normal for the room volume, and I went back to eating.

When we had all finished, I grabbed both bags, I insist I said, knowing they were doing this for me

Ok dear, try to keep up!

We hit several more stores, all of them with stuff aimed at young teen girls, we got a couple sun dresses, a pair of shortalls, and some more tops, and by the end of it we all had at least one bag

We found a quiet corner near an under construction store and I quietly said, are you sure this is ok grandma? This is a lot of clothes, where even would I wear them?

Well at my place for now but hopefully as much as you want in not too long she smiled and gave me a hug, you are doing so well, and both of you have been great, and I saw her glance at her phone real quick, so I guess it’s time for the surprise! It’s all arranged already

What’s arranged I asked?

You’ll see she winked and got up, I looked at Karen questioning and she shrugged not knowing either. We followed grandma back through the mall towards the Target, and then she said we’re here! And it was the Disney store, and not just any one, a big flagship store

Come on kids, she said and lead us towards the back. Before she approached the counter she gestured for us to wait where we were. I felt like I was in some soy novel, awaiting the code word to be accepted, I couldn’t make out what they said but the young woman at the count nodded and smiled and waved us over

Hello Karen and Josh, and she switched to a whisper, or should I say, Brooke?

I gasped and looked hurt at grandma and was about to turn and run away

Grandma quickly waved and quietly said whoa, it’s ok, she’s a friend, she’s Jessica’s aunt, and I knew she worked here and asked Marge if she could try and arrange something special for you, for us

I looked suspicious but let myself be led to a back room, Jessica’s aunt was younger than I would expect and after the door was closed she turned and introduced herself

Hi! I’m Patricia, and as Mrs Gilchrist said, I’m Jessica’s aunt and yes, I’m not as old as you might expect the aunt of a 15 year old to be, or the child of people living in a retirement community… but enough about me…

She paused briefly, Now, Brooke, Karen, I believe you two are going to have a bit of fun at the parks tomorrow, is that correct?

Karen and I nodded

And this will be Brooke’s first trip?

I thought for a moment and nodded yes

And also maybe Brooke’s only trip before she turns 14?

I nodded, I doubt I’ll get to go as Brooke for our birthday trip which I think we were going to do the weekend before? I looked at Karen, who nodded

Well let’s hope you are wrong, but every girl should get to go Disney as a princess in a costume at least once

My eyes went wide and I suddenly became aware of what the room we were in was, there was a changing stall on one side, a raised platform with mirrors next to it on the other and some fancy cartoony couches near it

Wait… what… I looked and grandma as tears formed in my eyes she set her bags down and came over and hugged me, is this real? I asked quietly

It absolutely is, now, who are your top three princesses?

I immediately answered Belle, Merida… and Ariel

You three wait here, set your bags down, get comfy, and I will be right back

we set our bags down and went and sat on the couch

So… Belle, Merida and Ariel?

A movie with a horrendous beast cursed for absolutely no reason, and a gorgeous ball gown worn by a book obsessed girl. A movie with a girl fighting for her right to choose her own future. And a movie with a girl longing for a life on the other side that she would do anything to achieve it

Oh… Karen said, those are good reasons

They really are, Grandma said, and Im sure you would be pretty as any of them

Thanks I said, and while Im still a bit annoyed at you telling her, thank you

You’re welcome dear, and she gets it needs to be kept a secret

Shortly afterwards Patricia came back in, hauling 3 fair sized dress bags, as well as a pair of bags with several boxes in it

After the door was shut, ok Brooke, which would you like to start with?

I hesitated a moment before responding, Ariel

Ok, Ill hang things up in the changing room for it, and hang the others out here for now

I went in to the changing cubicle, and saw the dress bag hanging, with the zip undone, and a small version of the blue green ballgown they sometimes used for Ariel at the parks was inside, on the seat next to it were a pair of matching shoes with a low heel, and on a shelf, a red Ariel wig on a head piece sat

I poked my head out, uh, Grandma? Karen? do you have a hair tie?

I pulled my head back inside, and shortly Karen poked her hand in, here you go sis

Thanks Karen I said as her hand immediately withdrew, and I quickly put my hair in a pony tail, it wasn’t that long for a girl, but it would stick out from the wig

I got my shirt off and carefully pulled the dress over my head, and found the zip doable, just, and then I got the shoes on, the heel was plenty survivable, and then I got the wig on and futzed with it in the mirror in the stall a bit, and then I stepped out

Karen whistled and Grandma clapped, you are adorable sweetie, why don’t you step on the platform

I stepped up and turned to face the mirrors, and it was quite amazing, I turned this way and that, enjoying what I saw, and Grandma took some pictures

I stepped down, smiling, I like it but I do want to try the others

Of course! Patricia said, we’ve got the room for awhile, which would you like next?

Merida?

Perfect she said

I went to the changing room, and took off the wig and set it on its stand, and unzipped the dress and hung it back up in the bag as I best I could, and placed the shoes on the shelf, and then Patricia was at the door, and we exchanged the bag, wig, and shoes really quick,

I put on the flat but pretty shoes, donned her film dress, which was quite nicely detailed, and then I put on her big curly red wig

On stepping out, Grandma clapped and Karen said looking good Brooke!

I stepped up on to the platform, more confident this time, and even did a twirl in it, which I think Grandma recorded and Karen clapped, and I attempted a curtsey, thank you I said, ok, last one

I quickly went and got changed out, and swapped costumes with Patricia, and changed in to the Belle costume, by far the nicest of the three in terms of construction. I put on the long brown curled wig and was already in love with my reflection

I stepped out slowly, and walked quietly over to the platform, I have no idea what Grandma or Karen was doing, I think they were just stunned in to silence, but I remember hearing Patricia gasp, as she hadn’t reacted to the previous two. I stepped up on the platform gracefully, and did a slow twirl to see it in the mirror

This is the one I whispered

None of them disagreed

It is stunning Grandma said

Just perfect Karen said

Grandma snapped some photos real quick and asked me to do a twirl and I obliged as she recorded

Ok sweetie she said gently, its time to change out of it so we can check out, I looked sad, but then she continued, just remember, tomorrow all day sweetie

I nodded, right! ok, be right back and nearly skipped off.

I put the wig on its stand, and hung the dress in the bag, and took off the shoes and started putting on Josh’s clothes slowly, When I emerged carrying the bag to hand to Patricia I was nearly in tears, I know, I said, all day tomorrow, still hurts

I know sweetie, no more skulking about? We are just going to haul the bags out to the car and pick up some supper on the way home, sound good?

Sounds great I said, smiling, helping pick up some of the other bags, while Patricia carried the stuff for the Belle costume to the counter we had first met her at.

She quickly rang them up, and I saw her slip something else in the bag, and then handed the bags off to us. We somehow managed to carry everything, and I couldn’t hide it anymore, a huge grin on my face as we walked through the mall talking and laughing and not caring. I did briefly hope no one thought anything but what did they care.

We got out to the mini, which even with one rear seat folded down was a bit tight to fit it all in, but we managed it, Karen again let me have the front. Grandma blasted the AC as she quickly placed a carryout order for pizza, and then we drove over to the pizza place and grandma ran in and picked up the pizza, which I held in my lap.

We got to grandma’s house and unloaded, it took a couple trips with me carrying in the pizza, but we got it all in, and stashed in the closet of my bedroom.

As we sat down to eat, the doorbell rang

Ill get it I said

I went to the door and tried to see who it was first, as we weren’t expecting anyone and I heard a brusque voice outside say! DCF! Open up!

My heart leapt in to my throat, pounding worse than anything we had done so far today, had we been noticed? I wondered? Impossible! Breath, open the door carefully

I opened the door and peaked out, and it was Jessica who was laughing her head off

That wasn’t nice! I said loudly, I nearly had a heart attack!

Im sure the look on your face was priceless though Jessica laughed coming inside

We were just sitting down to pizza, come on in I said

What was that commotion at the front door? Grandma asked

I was mean, I played a trick on poor Brooke here, said I was DCF

Jessica! Karen gasped, that was cruel

It was over the line she admitted, Im sorry Brooke, I hope your day was good?

It was both awful and wonderful all the the same time, the most delightful torture I could ever imagine

Jessica, want a piece of pizza? We’ve got plenty here Grandma offered

Oh thank you, but no, already ate a sandwich for supper, just wanted to come over and see how it went, was my aunt helpful?

She was! I said, I have the most wonderful for costume for tomorrow, thank your grandparents and your aunt for arranging it, it means the world to me

I’m sure you already thanked Patricia, such a polite young lady you are, but I will be sure to pass it along to my grandparents

Thank you I said, your apology is accepted

We ate and chatted, and Jessica did ultimately take a slice of the pepperoni

So… can I see what you got for tomorrow?

I laughed, tomorrow silly

Ok ok, but did you get other things too?

Oh! Yes! One thing to show you, be right back I said

I went in to my room and rummaged in the closet, and came back holding the swimsuit

Oh. My. God. Its gorgeous!

Yeah I said, I really like it, Grandma slipped it in to the cart as we were walking to the cash register

You’re welcome dear she said, and Jessica, they were at the mall Target, if you want to try and get one another day

I’ll see if they have any Sunday, I can probably get my grandparents to take me there before we go grocery shopping. We should find a way you can wear that

I opened my mouth, uh, what? No, I can’t wear this outside, not in public

Hrmm… Let me think on that, Jessica said

I should really get back before my grandparents worry too much, I said I would be over here for a quick visit, thank you for the pizza Mrs Gilchrist,

You are welcome dear, we will see you bright and early tomorrow?

Yup!

See you tomorrow Jesica I said

Karen called as she left, smell ya later!

Now then Brooke, I said you could do your nails better for tomorrow, do you want to do them tonight to save time in the morning?

I think in the morning I said, if thats ok?

Thats fine by me, Ok kids, I want you to get ready and have get to bed earlier tonight so you will be well rested for tomorrow, and be sure to wash up! Brooke… I know you might hesitate because its going to leave a lasting bit, but shave your legs and your face as close as you can, you have very little, but no sense giving anything more to raise eyebrows

I’ll try I said

Thats a good girl, thats all we can do is try our best, if you two will excuse me, I need to get ready for bed too, please try to keep it to a dull roar and get to bed at a reasonable hour

Yes grandma Karen called as she went in to the main bedroom and closed the door.

So, sister, need any other tips?

I think I can manage, I’ve got a safety razor dad showed me how to use, nearly drove me to tears, but eh

Well, hopefully we can find a way to get you on blockers?

I can but hope, goodnight sis

Goodnight sis!

Karen went off to her own room to grab things for her shower, while I did the same, putting the swimsuit back in the bag, and fishing out a pair of underwear from a package we had bought, along with some pj’s of my own and I took my stuff in to the bathroom to shower and attempt shaving.

To say it went flawlessly would be a misstatement, but, I managed to not nick myself bad enough to need a bandaid, and I was quickly done. I did take a risk of using some flowery shampoo and body wash that was there in the shower when I arrived, and I did smell pretty nice.

I put on my pj’s, and took a moment to comb through my hair a bit and smiled a bit weakly in the mirror, I was there, as if in a foggy distance, but there.

I returned to my room, and shut the door and turned out the lights and hopped in bed. I didn’t get to sleep very quickly, its perhaps for the best I started trying early. But in the end I did manage it.

---

Saturday:

I had mostly pleasant dreams and I awoke with a start, light just starting

I got up and went to the restroom, no one else was awake yet and so I grabbed my phone and just sat on the couch scrolling

In a half an hour, Grandma got up, and we did microwave bacon for time, meanwhile Karen got up and we sat to the table quietly to eat.

Are you girls ready for today? Grandma asked us

I didn’t ever dare dream this could happen, I said grinning

I want to go on Pirates Karen said, as if we didn’t always go on Pirates when we went to the Magic Kingdom

Ok you girls run along and start getting ready, and Brooke, there’s a small purse among your things, since your dress probably doesn’t have any pockets for phones or otherwise.

Oh, right!

And while you two are changing I’ll see if Jessica is getting ready

Oh, Brooke, mind if I borrow some of Josh’s clothes if I’m going as Josh at the entrance?

Oh, sure, come pick something out

We went in to my room and she came out with some tan cargo shorts, and a Stitch t-shirt that said ‘Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten’, it was one of my favorite shirts but I rarely wore it as I got teased some for it.

She trotted off to her room, while I got out the dress bag, shoes, and the wig in a slim box, realizing the thing Patricia had slipped in was a tiara. Then went digging in the other bags I found the purse, which I had to remove stuffing from, and realized it was a yellow purse, had grandma somehow known?

I went to the bathroom and quickly brushed and put on the no scent deodorant I used, and then went back to my room to put everything on. I took my pj’s off and quickly put on a pair of socks, the dress, the shoes, put the purse over my shoulder and then went over to the mirror in the room to put the wig on

I quickly put my hair up, and got the wig on and tried as best I could to make sure it looked good, threw my phone and armband in my purse, along with a power brick and cable I usually had with me at the parks, and then I opened my door and stepped out

Jessica was there and gasped, oh you are lovely Brooke! Belle’s dress suits you

Thank you I said, attempting a curtesy

But I bet we can make you cuter before we go!

She set a box on the counter with her nail supplies, and quickly cleaned my nails back up, then with her little light she cured on a base coat, two bright yellow coats, then she put some little rose sticker things on each nail and did a clear but sparkly coat on top of it all. In the end my fingernails were very fancy.

And then Karen came over and helped me with a bit of makeup, just some blush and lipgloss really, and handed me the lipgloss to put in my purse.

I rushed off to look in the mirror and grandma insisted on a few pictures before we left the park and Karen instructed me in how to pose.

We finally all piled in to the Mini, Karen again gave me the front seat as my dress kind of poofed out everywhere.

Grandma pulled out of the neighborhood and we put on Disney tunes on our way to the park and sang along

We got to the outer entrance of the larger area around the parks and I got briefly nervous but I was Brooke and this would be fine. I hoped.

Grandma expertly navigated us towards the Magic Kingdom and the annual pass holder lot, and then we were there! And we all quickly clamored out of the car and the three of us girls started to rush off.

Wait! Grandma said, come back here.

We sheepishly turned around and came back, ok, we are all here? Yes. Do you all have your passes?

Karen and Jessica simply held up their wrists while I dug mine out of my purse and started to put it on… wait… we didn’t swap yet I said

Oh right, how silly of me Karen said for no one’s benefit, and handed me the perhaps reductive pink band while I handed her my blue one.

And sunscreen? It’s going to be a long day and we need to do it a few times today probably

Fine grandma… Karen and I chorused, we both had tans already, and we didn’t burn.

Jessica tut tutted us, protecting your skin is important! Dad works at an oncologist and they deal with so many skin cancers, it’s not funny!

Oh fine I said, grandma helping Karen and I get the backs of our necks and insisting we do our legs, while Jessica quickly applied her own. She wasn’t wearing a costume as she was too old, but she was in a cute Alice in wonderland print dress, with a mad hatter themed purse

Ok! Now we can go Grandma relented.

We walked towards the entrance of the transportation center which wasn’t far enough to justify the tram. The park was always busy on weekends but the pass holder lot was really nice. We got in the queue to get on the monorail to the Magic Kingdom, and I was practically vibrating, I was here, and doing it, and no one cared, they just saw a few girls out with grandma at Disney, nothing special. If we were being honest Karen didn’t really pull off ‘Josh’ but a tomboy was less suspect than a girly boy…

We got on the monorail and managed to get pretty good spot, at the correct side of the train to watch as we pulled in to the Magic Kingdom station. The train pulled smoothly out, through the contemporary remote which I always loved seeing people at breakfast in the area beneath its station, and then back out towards the Magic Kingdom. I clapped as the castle came in to view

Excited Brooke? Grandma asked me

YES! I squealed

Good, Jessica? Karen?

Absolutely!

The monorail pulled in to the station and we got off in to the next queue, to get in to the park. As we walked forward we finalized our plans for the day.

We approached the bag check and the Security person smiled at me when I opened my purse and said it’s ok miss, go on.

We approached the turnstiles and I was a bit nervous but Jessica grabbed my hand and said it will be fine!

I waved my band and the attendant said welcome back! Enthusiasticly And waved me in. ‘Josh’ was right behind and there might have been an infinitesimal pause by the attendant but she just smiled at ‘Josh’ and said welcome back politely, and Jessica and Grandma came through the next line over with no trouble.

Ok girls! I want a picture in front of the Mickey logo and train station before we go on!

I nodded and we waited briefly for a photo pass photographer to be free and we quickly got some shots with her directing us to do some poses really quick and before we left grandma waved her wristband at the photographer’s reader, registering the photos to her account

I was a bit nervous about that but let it slide, it was grandmas account, not ours, it should be ok, I hoped.

I laughed as we walked down, breaking out to skipping and Jessica and Karen joined me while Grandma laughed and took some video with her phone.

As we approached Cinderella’s Castle, Grandma again flagged down a photographer and got some shots of us girls with the castle nicely in the background.

We proceeded up and through the castle, passed the hair salon and Grandma got a picture of us getting sprinkled with fairy dust, which caused me to giggle

Our first stop was a character meet and greet area with a lot of the princesses, and it was so neat, and everyone complimented my costume, and then for laughs we did a ride on the carousel, which made me feel a bit like a little kid, but it was a lot of fun.

We got off and decided to have a bit of a snack at a desert stand and then Karen and Jessica insisted on doing the teacups, which might not have been the best idea, but we all survived without losing our recent sugar intake, and grandma got some great pictures of us laughing our fool heads off spinning as hard as we could.

Afterwords all of us were kind of dizzy and we sat down to let our inner ears settle back down,

Having a good time? She asked us

Absolutely! I said a bit too loudly, drawing a bit of attention, but it quickly faded thankfully, Thank you grandma I said quieter, and leaned over and hugged her

You are welcome darling, and you two? She asked looking at Jessica and Karen

I always have fun here Jessica grinned, and seeing it through Brooke’s eyes just adds another layer of good to it

Karen nodded, yup! having a grand old time

Ok, what else do we want to do in Fantasy land?

Ariel’s Grotto! Jessica piped up

I laughed, that was one of my other choices

I kind of figured, she was my first here at the park, Jessica said

We went and got in line for the dark ride, which moved along like most of Disney’s dark rides. We got on board and rode, and it was quite neat to see all of the animatronic wizardry in action.

As we got off, ok kiddos, time for lunch?

Yes please! Karen said

Ok, well I have a bit of a surprise, grandma said, and we walked over towards Beast’s Castle and Be Our Guest and I actually squealed and bounced when I realized what she meant.

She insisted on us getting a photo really quick in front of the castle and had me pose solo and with the other girls, and I even did a twirl for video

We walked up to the cast member at the booking table and Grandma quickly told her her name

Your table is ready right away, ladies she said

I love your outfit by the way, she said looking down at me as she walked us to our table

Thanks, Belle is my favorite

The meal was lovely, and the chef came out to work with Jessica on her allergy, and we all found things we would enjoy

Seeing the characters was great, and more photos were taken, I was getting used to it, I was happier than I had ever been.

And then lunch was over, and we all needed a restroom. We all went in as a group, and I did my best to manage with the skirts in the stall, nervous that anyone would see, but no one made a comment, I kept my mouth shut and we washed our hands quickly and got out

Well that was mildly terrifying I whispered to Jessica as we walked away

You did fine, just remember, confidence and just being yourself goes a long way, you are a girl

We headed in the direction of the Haunted mansion, people were already starting to line up for the afternoon parade, and the line was quite short and moving well. I loved haunted mansion, and seeing myself in the mirror with a ghost next to me was hilarious

We decided to watch the parade when we got off, and found a relatively free spot in frontier world, and then joined crowds in shuffling to our next destination, Pirates of the Caribbean, after which a frequent afternoon treat… dole whip, which was even safe for Jessica. We ate our treats while waiting in line for the Jungle Cruise, and we got a really good skipper who had us in stitches by the time we got back to the dock

Ok girls, what next? Maybe something that has some sitting time? Grandma asked

Laugh Floor! Karen said, she was mildly obsessed with finally getting picked to interact, and we went just about every time we were at this park

We walked that way, and got in line for the next show, and Karen got picked! She got to provided one of the answers to a riddle! Then we did Buzz Lightyear, which thankfully the crowd wasn’t too bad, and we ended up at Space Mountain. Grandma didn’t join us, she didn’t like coasters much, but the three of us loved them. And then the mistake was made without even thinking about it. Karen came off the ride and found our picture and buzzed her band to register it to our account.

Right away we realized the mistake but it was too late. We walked out to find Grandma sitting down

Hey kiddos, how was… why so glum?

I uh, Im sorry Grandma, I made a mistake Karen said

Oh no! What happened? It can’t be this bad she said gesturing at our posture and faces

I uh, I buzzed my wrist band coming off space mountain at the photo station without thinking, we just have been taking pictures all day, but all of them were on your armband, not ours, Karen said

Hrm, well, we could log in to the account and delete it maybe?

We don’t have full access to the account I said, and Karen nodded, we just have downloading, not deleting

Oh… Well. We will cross that bridge when we come to it, like I said, I would be very cross with my son and daughter in law if this posed a problem. Shall we get some supper?

Yeah, I guess I said

Ok, you will feel better with food I bet

We walked over to the Tomorrowland cafe and Jessica had them bring out ‘the book’ and bring over a manager, and got some decent food, and a safe cookie and the rest of us got things we enjoyed.

We sat down at the table, eating mostly in silence.

Ok kiddos, now that we’ve eaten, how are we feeling?

Better all three of us agreed

Do we want to stay for the fireworks?

Yes grandma! Karen and I said, and Jessica nodded

Ok, glad you all got your wind back then Grandma said smiling

After supper we walked across the bridge towards the middle and Grandma flagged down another photographer and got us all on the bridge with the castle in the background, and then scanned her bracelet, and also had Karen scan hers, which caused a brief pause but she nodded, in for a penny, in for a pound, and the photos really were quite nice.

The evening parade ropes had already been set up, and we jockeyed our way in to a place to watch as things came around the courtyard in front of the castle. We watched and it was very pretty, and the fireworks weren’t right away, there was always a bit of time between them, so we wandered to the main street confectionary, and we all got one more treat to end the day with, then went and found a place to watch the fire works from

Grandma got a few more pics on her phone of us watching the fireworks, and then we all tiredly started following the crowds out. We queued for the monorail, the line moving forward in significant chunks as they filled trains to nearly overflowing to take people to their cars

Did you girls have a good day?

The best I said, smiling tiredly, thank you again so much, all of you, this was the best day a girl could wish for

You are absolutely welcome Sis Karen said hugging me, which I believe grandma always on the watch also snapped a photo of.

Jessica grinned at me and pulled me in to a big hug, you. are. so. adorable, and Im happy to have helped.

We shuffled forward and on to the train before too long, and away to the transportation center

We debated hopping on the tram to the first stop, but it would actually be farther than our car was, so we walked over and all clambored in to the car, I took the backseat, insisting Karen had done so much for me, and Jessica and I leaned on each other in the back seat. I actually fell asleep on the way home, but woke up right as we pulled in to grandmas neighborhood

Welcome back sleepyhead, maybe sleeping beauty would’ve been more accurate Karen laughed

Hey, its been a long day! Its a lot being a girl for the first time in public all day

It is, darling, Grandma said, and here we are she said as we pulled up in to the driveway and garage.

Jessica hopped out and ran off through the open garage door to her parents, wishing us all a good night, and she would come visit tomorrow, I ran inside because I really needed the restroom, having put it off due to the anxiety of it.

I got changed out of my costume, hanging it back up in the bathroom while I took a shower, and put on my pj’s

I picked up my phone, and realized I had a lot of notifications. They were from the parents. I showed grandma without reading them and tears forming in the corner of my eyes

Hey, sweetie, its ok, and we can deal with this in the morning, just leave your phone out here and don’t think about it

I nodded, ok grandma, sure, tears actually forming

She hugged me, its ok to cry you know, even if its going to be ok its ok to cry

I nodded, still crying, I went and collapsed in bed.

In spite of it, I was fast asleep before I even remembered to turn my lights off.

I awoke to a darkened room, it was definitely not morning yet, and Grandma had turned my lights out apparently. I was so anxious I couldn’t go back to sleep, and I decided finally I had to know. I quietly walked out in to the kitchen and picked up my phone and unlocked it. I saw only the most recent messages, and they ended in an all caps message from mom…

JOSH AND KAREN PLEASE TEXT US NOW, WE NEED TO TALK ASAP.

I put the phone back down quietly, the tears starting again and not stopping. I walked in to my room and quietly moved everything we had gotten yesterday (two days ago? Was it after midnight? I hadn’t even noticed) and putting it on the table. I grabbed some of my old PJ’s and threw them on, putting my new PJ’s with the rest.

I went back in to my room and collapsed and cried myself to sleep. I knew it was too good to last.

Part 3