This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

This is a work of fiction, any resemblance to real people or places is purely coincidence.

Content warnings for threatened and attempted gun violence against a trans person. Parent disowning child and deadnaming. Threatened conversion therapy 'camp.' Not all warnings will apply to all parts.

I woke up just in time to rush through getting dressed enough to go over to Mrs Fredericks to ice the cupcakes, I knocked on her door and she called ‘Is that you George? Just a moment!’ I heard her put something heavy down and come and unlock the door, there you are my dear! Just in time, I just finished mixing up the icing, and the cupcakes are all arrayed in trays to carry them on once they are iced!

Oh wow! You’ve been busy, you didn’t hurt yourself did you?

Back’s fine! Good nights rest did me good, just as I hoped, now, Im going to teach you how to ice the cupcakes, one way anyways, and we are both going to do what we can of them

Yes ma’am I said smiling

She laughed, ok, so, I’ve got two bags here already prepped with the tips and stuff, one for me and one for you, and I made a bit of extra icing so we’ve got enough to do some do overs if you, or for that matter, me, mess one up and we want to attempt again.

She handed me the icing bag, and explained how to hold it, how to control the flow, how to get a clean start and end, and demonstrated how to do the spiral… It took a few tries but I got one I was happy with and said tada! and waved to have her look

Great! now scrape those first two off and do 23 more like it she said laughing, or however many you can

We managed to get all 48 done, she did wind up doing about a dozen more than me, mostly because I had to go back and do several of them twice and I was a lot slower at it.

Well, ok, so, now, I’ve got these little chocolate wafers, each with a pride flag printed on it already, a friend makes these, and theres a variety, you just tuck it in to the side of the spiral like so she said, demonstrating

That task was soon done, and then she got out some edible glitter and laughed, ok, time to make these sparkle, and also, make my kitchen glittery again for another year, I just got the last of it cleaned up about a month ago

We dusted all of the cupcakes with sprinkles, and they looked marvelous, and she insisted on getting a picture with her phone with me

Ok kiddo, go get dressed and then its time to start hauling all this down stairs!

Dressed?

That cute top you wore yesterday maybe? There will be clothes there too

I… I guess I could do that, but Im wearing a jacket over it in the apartment

Fair enough, although its plenty warm out today you wont get away with that at the venue

She went to rummage in a closet while I went and put the top on, and then, I decided to see what the shorts looked like, and wow, I had legs, not great legs, but legs… ok… uh… jacket wouldn’t hide that… oh what the hell I said outloud and went back across the hall

She had two large coolers out that she put in a number of ice packs from the freezer, but she paused leaning over to lift out the bag of cookies, maybe I better let you do that and then she saw me, oh! Thats great! and the shorts fit nicely too

I blushed, very hard, uh, thank you, here, let me get the cookie bags, I said.

I helped move the bags cookies from the freezer in to the coolers carefully, and she had some crumple paper to line the edges and each other and keep them from winding up too damaged. We put the snickerdoodles on top of the chocolate chips, and the sugar cookies took up the whole other cooler.

Ok… I said. now how do we haul the cupcakes?

Oh! right!

She came back with a pair of collapsable wagons, and some large plastic tubs Ok, so how this works is, we put a tray in, we put a tub upside down over it, then another tray, then another tub, and so forth, two in each wagon

And these are going to your car?

She laughed, someones meeting us here in she checked her watch and phone, uh, 15 minutes, we better head on downstairs, did you want your jacket?

I… I decided against it, not like it would hide the shorts anyways

Thats the spirit! Happy pride!

Happy pride I said weakly, so who’s picking us up?

Oh! Sorry, one of the other volunteers! Her name’s Sarah, and she’s got a minivan to haul all this stuff, is that ok?

I uh, I guess it is… I said hesitantly

She’s a wonderful person, she’s been helping out at the brunch almost as long as I have… I need to grab my purse, you have everything?

I uh, I need my wallet I think I said, I ran across the hall, unlocking my door, going in and while my wallet was right next to the door, I let the door close behind me and leaned against the wall and started breathing really hard

A minute later I heard a knock from the other side of the door, George? Are you ok? You can back out, its ok, I really do appreciate your help with the cookies, and I don’t want to push you in to anything you aren’t comfortable with yet

No, I uh, Im fine I said trying to breath, besides, this was homework right? Therapist said go and have a good time?

Yeah, but good therapists understand when their patients don’t manage it

No, I can do this I said grabbing my wallet and opening the door and locking it behind me

Ok, Ill grab the wagons if you’ll pull the coolers

Sure, I said going and grabbing them and we hauled them behind us and got in the elevator which was thankfully quite large to accommodate moving in and out for furniture and while it was a bit cozy we got all of us and the treats in and on our way down. We got down to the ground floor and went out the entrance, Mrs Fredericks briefly saying hi to the receptionist in the lobby, and then we were out on the street and I started breathing a bit harder again

Mrs Fredericks pulled out her phone as it beeped, oh, she’s here already! she said and looked around, there she is and pointed at a van about 5 cars down the curb, and then I saw her, it was Sarah, the receptionist for Kleiner Associates. I quickly let one of the coolers down and grabbed Mrs Fredericks arm and squeaked out, I know her, from work

Oh! She said, and I saw Sarah starting to turn towards us after having been by her van opening doors, it was too late, there wasn’t anywhere for me to hide, she was going to see me… I needed something, anything to distract her, to make her think I might be someone else, a name maybe? A name! Thats it! what name, quick, theres only so many miliseconds left, Ana? no, silly, Ally? no Ellie? no, Amy? Amy!

I whispered loudly at Mrs Fredericks, call me Amy

Sure sweetie she said smiling pulling the wagons over to Sarah’s van as I saw her wave at Mrs Fredericks and look puzzled in my direction while I tried to keep my head facing the ground, I heard Mrs Fredericks greet Sarah warmly

Hello again Mrs Fredericks! And wow what a haul this year! You have outdone yourself again

It may be brunch, but there should be desert available too!

And who is your helper this year? It’s too bad Ana moved out, she was such a delight

Well, I have a new neighbor, and she’s living in the same unit Ana was, and she’s going by Amy

I uh, nice to meet you Sarah I said sticking out my hand to Sarah

And its a pleasure to meet you Amy, and don’t worry, any secret of yours is safe with me as long as it needs to be

I kind of melted, I uh, I… I… I stammered out

She shushed me gently, lovingly, hey, its ok, you absolutely wont be the only girl there that is closeted elsewhere, its fine, we absolutely understand privacy even at a big event, she leaned in to her van, here, take this, handing me a black button with a red camera icon inside a red circle with a slash on it, just wear this, no one will take photos of you

Now that introductions are out of the way, lets get this stuff loaded Mrs Fredericks said

Right I said, and I quickly lifted the coolers in to the back, and on top of them the trays of cookies and bins that went over them went, and then the wagons folded up and sat beside me in the middle while Mrs Fredericks and Sarah got in up front

So, Amy, big new city, new job, new, Im guessing, name?

I uh, yeah, this is all very new to me

Well its a big and wonderful first step, you are going to have a blast today, and your outfit is super cute

I blushed, thanks

She got the AC cranked up to full blast to help everything and everyone survive the trip, she wove through streets I was extremely unfamiliar with as I looked out the window, and mostly just chatted with Mrs Fredericks.

I heard my name, well, the name I had chosen in a mild panic being called a couple a couple times by Sarah, Amy, earth to Amy she said looking back at me in the rear view mirror at a stop light

I jolted back to attention, oh, uh, yes?

I asked if you’ve ever been to any pride event before

Oh, no, this will be my first one, I was done with classes and back home any time Pride came around

So where is, or was, home for you?

Pennsylvania, but not like, anything big or famous, just small quiet and conservative…

Oh thats rough, only time I was in Pennsylvania was to visit Hershey Park with some family that live back east

I laughed, yeah, been there a couple times on school trips and one time with that one kid who convinced his parents to let him invite a bunch of tween kids from his class along to visit a theme park on the other end of the state for his birthday and my parents let me go

That was nice of them, doubt I’d let my kids go off on some trip for a kids birthday up to SF or whatever

Yeah, it was… an odd event… I said looking back out the window… I must admit, I have no idea where we are right now, I’ve barely gotten to know any of the area yet

Mrs Fredericks laughed, no one knows all of LA sweetie, not really, if you include the entire metro, its freaking gigantic, but we are almost there, the parks just up ahead

It was a nice park, there were a pair of large tents sent up between the trees, with tables under them and people were starting to show up on foot, by bus. Sarah pulled in to a little parking lot nearby

Palm trees still take some getting used to being around I said staring up them as she parked, not exactly a north east thing

Hah, yeah, welcome to the land of shake and bake! Mrs Fredericks laughed

We all laughed as we got out and a couple other volunteers came over and helped unload and get things hauled over to the food tables at the tent, quickly arraying the cookies for people who would be eating soon

I helped as best I could and then kind of went and stood in a corner amidst the rising chaos, but Mrs Fredericks came over and touched my hand, hey sweetie, want to do the makeover?

I blushed, and quietly said yes and nodded because the noise level was already getting pretty high

She lead me over to the still setting up makeover corner in the other tent

Hey y’all she said waving at them, this here’s Amy, and this is her first time here, and her first time ever, can you help a girl out? She looks good but she could look amazing

Oh! One of the stylists came over, absolutely, we can work with this! I’m guessing she helped bake the cookies if she’s being lead over here by you personally?

She did!

Ohhhh, cant wait to try some later, save me a rainbow!

Will do!

Ok, so, we’ve got a couple racks of dresses and Im pretty sure we’ve got something stunning that should fit you darling, my name’s Kylie by the way, its very nice to meet you Amy

It’s nice to meet you too Kylie, I, uh, do your worst? or your best? Im a bit nervous

Oh sweetie, thats totally understandable, this is a big first day for you! Kylie went over to the rack and pulled a couple of dresses off and held them up to me and looked me up and down, oh this will be stunning on you, they said and handed it to me.

I went in to the little cloth booth and took off my top and shorts and put on the dress, it flared at my waist, and felt a bit short, but still longer than the shorts I had been wearing a moment ago. It was a sun flower patterned sundress with a halter neck line. There was a full length mirror in the booth and I caught a glimpse of myself and it seemed like a different person, and I looked closer and it was still me, but also, not… in a moment of randomness I twirled a bit left to right and it was great and then I did full spin and realized just how high that waist was and how much it flared and realized I needed to not be caught in wind in this

I came out and Kylie clapped, that is perfect on you! come, put your clothes in this they said holding a bag out and I put my top and shorts in it and then Kylie gave me a little handbag to put my phone and wallet in and the ticket for the clothing pickup at the end of the brunch.

Kylie then had me sit in their chair and said close your eyes sweetie, you ain’t seen nothing yet! And went to work on my face doing who knows what, and also messing with my hair? it was pretty short, I didn’t think they could change my look that much. They helped me up with my eyes closed and lead me over a bit and had me open my eyes and I saw myself in a big triple mirror and honestly didn’t recognize myself much at first, the changes were subtle and amazing, and my hair now looked like a pixie cut and was very cute with the dress

I turned to Kylie and did the only thing I could think to do, and hugged them hard, and said thank you

Whoa, just no crying ok, don’t want to ruin your makeup

I laughed, sure, thats fine

And then I turned around and saw the crowd of people going through the same thing I was, stylists were making several people over, and a couple of people were waiting to change in to clothes they had brought with them or clothes they had gotten from the rack here.

Ok go on with you, scoot Kylie said, lots of people to make beautiful today!

Thanks again I said

People were already going through the line for food, and I had no idea where either of the two people I knew were, but then my stomach rumbled, I definitely needed breakfast and had forgotten to eat anything before going to decorate the cupcakes this morning

I decided what the hell, go through the line like the others and get some food, I found the back of the line and grabbed a plate, and some eggs and bacon and a waffle, and then I came to the desert table and I saw Mrs Fredericks on the other side helping run things and restock things

Oh! There you are Amy she said! You look amazing

I blushed, thanks, and thank you

Sarah was just a bit farther down and waved and smiled and I waved back and grinned

I grabbed a trans pride cookie and a trans pride cupcake and moved on and then got a glass of OJ, and found an empty spot at a table in the already surprisingly full tent.

I sat down and introductions were had all around and I admit I was feeling a bit overwhelmed, but I made small talk with my tablemates, and generally had a wonderful time, when I was done with my food I decided to get up and let someone else have a seat as a few were looking at not finding, I needed a moment to breath and headed outside of the tent and to a bench nearby and sat down and just took in and let out some very deep breaths. I was fine, this was fine, I was having a good time, I hadn’t smiled this much in ages and I had gotten so many compliments, it was seriously the best day ever…

I was just about to get up and looking down at the ground in the distance when I heard a voice that sounded familiar ask if she could join me on the bench, and I said sure, but also I was just leaving… and then my head twisted to see who was sitting down as I got up, it was Lydia, my boss, I panicked. I squeaked out in fear, gotta go sorry!

I ran away but then I heard her call out loudly, wait! you forgot your purse!

my face went flush, my heart rate spiked several dozen beats per minute, I turned and kept my head facing the ground as I walked back towards the bench and hoped to take it from her without saying anything, without her seeing or recognizing me, I mean, I hadn’t recognized me in the mirror, maybe she wouldn’t? I saw her holding the purse out, and she was wearing a giant sunhat and not looking up, maybe I stood a chance.

I walked up to her and took it and right as I grabbed hold she looked up at me, dead in the eye. Oh! And what’s your name?

I, uh, its, uh, uh… I stammered and grabbed the purse and ran off back to the tents

The line had mostly cleared out, and the volunteers had started putting some of the food in containers to take to the homeless shelter later, and I saw Mrs Fredericks sitting down at a somewhat empty table with Sarah

Oh! There you are! we were wondering where you had gotten off to Mrs Fredericks said as I walked up

I, uh, I need to go, Im just going to call a ride share or taxi or whatever

We were just discussing heading out, the shelter donation is handled in one big go, my wagons and coolers and trays are all good to go, but what’s the rush? there’s going to be some music and speakers here in just a bit, its a fun afternoon, and you look like you saw a ghost

My, uh, my boss is here

Sarah looked surprised, wait, Lydia is here?

Yup, I was sitting on a bench and guess who sat down next to me!

Did she recognize you?

If she didn’t then, she did when I had to go back and get the purse I forgot next to her and she looked me square in the eye as I took it from her and stammered out nonsense, I am so fired, Im supposed to be at home working on the project

What project? Certainly not one you would be fired over, I heard a voice ask behind me. Her voice. I turned and there was Lydia, flanked by 3 teenage girls, two of them holding hands, and she continued, And also, I never did catch your name

I looked to Mrs Fredericks, who stood up and said Hello, you must be Lydia, Amy has mentioned you, I’m Amy’s neighbor, Mrs Fredericks

Oh! The person who does the cookies! Those were amazing one of the girls said

Lydia spoke up, and those cupcakes were grand

Oh Amy did the cupcakes herself entirely Mrs Fredericks said beaming

Well I had no idea she was such a good baker, Amy, Mrs Fredericks, Sarah, allow me to introduce my daughters Karen and Brooke pointing to the girls closest to her, and their friend Jessica

I stammered a bit, I, its a pleasure to meet you, I was just about to leave

You don’t have to leave on my account, or the companies or whomever’s, I hear the party this afternoon is quite good, we can talk more Monday in the office, but only if you are comfortable doing so, and please, don’t worry, Im very glad to meet you Amy

It was, uh, nice to meet your daughters and their friend, I said quietly

Come along girls, lets go get seats for the show, and they headed towards the other tent, where part of it had seats had arranged in rows facing a stage outside

Suddenly I felt myself sitting down with no idea whether there was even a chair behind me and realized Sarah had guided me gently during all this to be right next to one so I sat down on to it

Well THAT wasn’t expected Sarah said, I mean, I knew she had those pride flags, and twin daughters, but she doesn’t talk about her family tons at work, at least not that I hear at the reception desk, and Colby never swaps gossip

I uh, I said, I…

Shh, it’s going to be ok Mrs Fredericks said, its ok, she’s here as a paid attendee, she had the badge, if she had a problem with trans people in general, she wouldn’t be here

It’s not trans people in general I’m worried about, I said, it’s me

Totally fair Mrs Fredericks said, if you don’t want to stay for the show we don’t have to, I did what I came to, and thats feed a lot of young and old alike sugar

Absolutely Sarah said, while I don’t think its going to be a problem, I’m happy to give you both a lift back to your building

I smiled weakly, I think I would like that, this day has been a lot more than I was expecting and I think I just need to rest

Ok, we are going to grab the wagons and coolers, you go get your things

Oh, and change I guess

Nah, those clothes are donations, you get to keep it

Oh, but someone else probably needs it more

It fits you beautifully, keep it Sarah said grinning

I grabbed my purse and went over to the item storage area and picked up my bag with my clothes in it and thanked the attendant who went back to watching the show which did sound fun but I was just worn out

I walked back over to join Sarah and Mrs Fredericks, each of them hauling a pair of the wheeled things behind them

I grabbed one from Mrs Fredericks and started walking towards the van. Mrs Fredericks followed along behind me and Sarah managed to pass me and get to the van so she could open up the rear gate.

I loaded my cooler in to the back then grabbed the one Mrs Fredericks was hauling and then helped Sarah get the two wagons and the stuff used to carry the cupcakes in to the van.

We all piled in to the van in the same seats as before and I disassociated looking out the window, didn’t hear a word they said or really see things much as Sarah twisted through the city to our apartment building

Before I knew it, we were parked, and Sarah was opening the door I was staring out and snapping her fingers at me, hey, are you ok?

I snapped out of it, yeah, sorry

I got out and helped unload, then grabbed both coolers and headed in to the apartment building without saying another word.

Just as I got on the elevator I heard the others open the lobby door but I didn’t really care. I pressed the button for my floor and up I went without them.

I dropped the coolers outside Mrs Fredericks apartment and unlocked my own and went inside and locked it behind me and collapsed on my bed with my purse next to me. Just then I heard my phone beep.

I was still sure what it could be so I pulled phone out of my bag and glanced at my notifications. There was one from an unknown number but it said ‘Hello, this is Lydia…’

I decided what the hell, rip the bandaid off, I opened my phone to a massive text from her

Hello Amy, this is Lydia…

Please forgive me looking up your phone number in the company directory, I just wanted to reach out and reiterate that you absolutely aren’t in trouble, and that I understand better than you might believe. While I don’t know your exact situation, if you decide you wish to come out and transition, please know that the company, and especially me, and Sarah, and Colby and many others, will have your back. The healthcare plans we offer are the absolute best we can.

I’m so very sorry that we met like that, rather than you getting the chance to tell me when you were ready in your own time and way. I heard about the event from Colby, who heard about it from Sarah who was going to be volunteering, and I thought it sounded like a really good thing for the girls and I to go to.

My daughters and their friend though wished to pass on that you looked really cute and they wish you all the best. They had a really great time today, and I hope, that in spite of this all, you had a great time today.

I will continue to use your on the record name til you tell me otherwise at work, and once again I apologize

Sincerely, Lydia

I started crying, the dam burst, all the feelings I had been blocking out for the last hour or so came out and I let out a primal scream that probably worried my neighbors. The tears wouldn’t stop flowing as I lay there in bed

In a couple minutes I heard a gentle knock at the door, barely louder than my sobbing

I forced myself upright, still crying to go see who it was, knowing the most likely person

I looked out the peephole and yup, it was Mrs Fredericks,

I leaned my head against the door, I’m fine, really, just kind of finally had my emotions unclog and I can’t stop crying

Ok, well, I decided you were in no shape to care for yourself properly this evening so I brought over some sandwiches for now and I’ve got fixings for a nice dinner

I sighed, ok, sure, you aren’t wrong, I said and opened the door and let her in

Thank you I said

You are welcome dear, you just go sit down and I’ll bring things over in a moment

I nodded and went and sat down, tears still not entirely stopped

I heard her clinking about in the kitchen, but didn’t really look up, and soon she came over with two sandwiches on plates with chips and glasses of water

Dig in she said

I’m not really hungry I said

Oh just try a bite or two, you might realize how wrong you are, I know I’m starving, I mean, I ate at the brunch, but there’s so much sugar and sweet at it she said laughing

I ate a couple bites and before I knew it the sandwich was gone and I was polishing off the chips, Mrs Fredericks looked over from her half finished one, see, I knew she said smiling

I laughed, and the tears had finally stopped

So, how are you she asked, really?

I’m… I’m going to be ok I hope

Good answer

Here, uh, let me show you this I said, getting up and grabbing my phone from the bed where I had left it. I let her read the text and she was smiling

I’m very happy for you, and if and when you decide to transition and be Amy full time, you will have me as support too

I should reply… I said taking the phone back

Hello Lydia, thank you for your kind message, today, this last couple weeks have been an emotional roller coaster, I would be happy to talk more first thing Monday morning, I don’t know what my plan is yet, today was a first toe in the water, and I hadn’t even known Sarah would be there. Thank you and your daughters for your kinds words ~Amy

I let Mrs Fredericks see before I sent it and she smiled and nodded, and I hit send

Ok kiddo, I’m gonna start making you some supper, you just sit here and rest

I nodded and said thank you

We talked a bit about unrelated things while she cooked, what, I wasn’t sure but I think it involved pasta and something she was cooking in a skillet she must have brought over as I didn’t have one

I heard various things turning off and her plating things up

Now, Amy dear, I know we just ate sandwich’s not too long ago but Im hungry again already, and Im going to eat mine, if you want, I can put yours in the fridge for later if you want, just heat it up in the microwave

I thought for a moment, no, I think I could eat some more still

Perfect she said, bringing out plates, and taking our glasses in and refilling them with water

I looked at the bowl she had brought me, it was goulash, pasta and meat and tomato and cheese, and it smelled wonderful, and i said so, it smells amazing I said

Thanks! Oh! Almost forgot this and she threw something in my microwave briefly and then brought me a plate with a piece of garlic bread that also smelled wonderful

She sat down and tucked in to her bowl and I did to mine as well, this is sooo good I told her, really hitting some comfort food spots in my brain

I’m glad you like it, theres some leftovers, Ill make sure those get in the fridge, but then I too am going to go home and collapse and rest

Absolutely deserved, thank you for all of this, everything, I don’t know how I can ever repay you

She looked at me, silly goose, thats not how friendship works, its not about quid pro quo, its about being there for each other in whatever way you can

I, yeah, ok, thats what everyone tells me but it never seemed to work out

Oh kiddo, I just want to give you all the hugs sometimes

I blushed, thanks

She and I talked while we ate, and when we finished, I got the dishes put away, and helped her get things in the kitchen squared up, and then she did hug me deeply

I. Am. So. Proud. Of. You! She said, today has been a tremendously big day for you, and I just, she smiled, tears at the corner of her eyes

I had a really good day, thank you

Im gonna start crying if you say things like that… anyways, also in that bag I brought over was a box of makeup remover wipes, I don’t use em much except for cleaning things besides makeup off, and you should really clean your face up before you collapse tonight

I smiled, thank you

Ok, Im off to collapse myself, talk with you soon

See you soon! I said as she crossed the hall.

I came back inside, energized, and grabbed out my laptop, and finished the check of the building I had started working on yesterday, it didn’t take very long, and I found no remaining discrepancies on the building. I checked Slack and I noticed a few others had posted various minor discrepancies last night and earlier today that had been cleared, but I noticed one of them had a fair sized thread under it, and out of curiosity checked it.

There had been another incident, several months back a somewhat prestigious if not high dollar community center project had had it’s ceiling structure subtle-y altered. I looked at the project’s brief description, it was in West Hollywood, and then I saw the project’s sponsors, the LGBT Center. It was a bit too on the nose.

I looked at the buildings I was assigned to and I saw one that my brain latched on to, another housing project, this one for a permanent housing shelter up in Seattle and I noticed no one had looked at yet. I put a pin in it though as I realized it had gotten relatively late without noticing. I would look at it Monday, tomorrow I need to just rest.

I collapsed in bed without preparation but remembered makeup and clothing and managed to extract myself to go clean myself up, the makeup remover wipes did help a lot, and I got a shower and changed in to pajama’s and collapsed in bed.

---

I slept quite soundly and long, and just before waking I was having the most wonderful dream, I was Amy, and working at the office and I had so many compliments, it was really nice… it briefly shifted at the last moment, someone was very angry about being Amy, but then Lydia stood up and defended me, it was nice

I woke up and realized how late I had slept and quickly made breakfast and did some basic household chores, turned on the tv to continue a show I had been watching off and on and just relaxed for a bit… and then I had a thought and I went and grabbed the dress and put it on and took some time looking at myself, and while I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t look more feminine, the actual mood I felt could best be described as joy

I went back to watching my show, just enjoying being me for a bit. It wasn’t too long before it was lunch time and I decided to heat some of Mrs Fredericks leftover goulash, which was quite good even reheated. I sat down and watched another episode while I ate, and then got my laptop out and pulled out the flyer Doctor Harris had given me and pulled up the Wilhelm site for their transition care and started reading.

I didn’t really understand much, and I didn’t look much at things like surgery since that scared me a bit, but I got an idea of the kind of services they offered

My messages beeped,

Look forward to talking with you Monday, I’ve let Colby know to expect you ~Lydia

I tried to put that out of my mind, and turned back to my show that was still going. I also moved off the transition page and on to other topics, it was a bit much. After another episode had run I decided I needed a nap. I went and laid down still in the dress and had a nap with even better dreams somehow, it was really good.

I awoke in the late afternoon feeling refreshed and decided on a whim to go see how Mrs Fredericks was doing. I walked across the hall and gently knocked on her door, and I heard her call just a moment!

Shortly I heard her rattling locks and such and then she opened the door, oh! Amy so good to see you again she said smiling, and that’s why you get to keep the clothing

I laughed, yeah, I wasn’t sure about it but I’ve enjoyed being Amy again today

That’s wonderful, so what brings you over?

I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get some supper, my treat

Oh, thats nice of you, anywhere in particular in mind?

I figured I would offer to take you some place you don’t get to much for whatever reason

Oh that’s sweet, I have a couple ideas, do you want to change first?

I uh, if it was some place I could be Amy that would be amazing, but I would change if it would be a less friendly place

She laughed and smiled, silly girl, I would never ask you to take me somewhere you couldn’t be who you are, I think I know just the place

She grabbed her purse and I realized I had left all but my keys at my place, and I went back over and grabbed my purse, which still held my wallet, and my phone and we headed down to my car. She asked to see my phone and input the address, and said that what it was would be a surprise when we got there.

We got in the car and I followed the gps to where she had set it to. The ETA was quite far away, and Mrs Fredericks and I chatted a bit. It was an unassuming little hole in the wall, without even so much as a sign on the building, just a little sign on the door saying ‘Moe’s’, we went inside and were greeted warmly by the person behind the counter in the otherwise empty restaurant. Hey sis! I heard the person behind the counter call, long time no see! And who’s your friend?

Moe, this is Amy, and she gave me a lift today, only way I could get here reasonably, Amy, this is Moe, he was Art’s brother, my brother in law

Oh, nice to meet you, I’m Mrs Fredericks new neighbor

Nice to meet ya kid, and I hear ya sis, damn fool lack of decent transit, Im not that far from you as the crow flies, just no convenient transit options

You should just come visit me more! Mrs Fredericks said, You still drive

Its hard, I lost my regular helper recently, so now Im back to doing everything myself again most of the time

MOE! Mrs Fredericks said, you are getting too old for this!

I know, and I should probably just retire, but I love it, even if its quiet tonight my regulars would have to find a new place

Anyways, have a seat here at the counter, Ill grab ya a couple menus he said, quickly handing us two laminated single page, double side menus

I still hadn’t been sure what they served, but it was apparently bbq, and various other associated appetizers, I decided on some spare ribs and coleslaw and fries, and they were sooo good

Best BBQ in the city Mrs Fredericks said grinning

You’re biased you old fool Moe laughed

And you aren’t? This is as good as ever

Wish more people noticed that

A few others came in as we were eating and Moe was busy helping all of them as well as us and there wasn’t tons of conversation, but as we were finishing Moe had a minute and came over,

So, any luck with my nephew lately?

I can’t get through Mrs Fredericks sighed, its been a few months since I tried, I have kind of given up

Thats too bad Moe said, I think the last time I talked to him was at Art’s funeral, he wasn’t who I remembered from when he was younger he sighed

Yeah, anyways, we should get going, Thanks for the meal Moe

I realized I had never seen the check and I asked how much we owed

For my sister in law and her friend? nothing, you drove her here, thats payment enough on your part, all the best Amy he said smiling softly

I uh, thanks I said

Yes thank you Moe, and I will let you know if anything changes on the front of my erstwhile offspring

Don’t be such a stranger sis! he called as we left

We went in got back in the car and I had it guide us home as I was very unsure exactly where I was at the moment. That was awfully nice of him, I said as I pulled out of the parking lot

Moe’s always been great, and he knew about me too, and was always a good guy about it

The food was really amazing, Im surprised the place isn’t packed

It’s not a favored location, and he doesn’t really advertise much, I worry about him but only so much I can do, and he has his own family to help him too, he’s got kids of his own

Oh thats good

Yeah, anyways, remind me when I get home I need to check my mail, I haven’t in a few days, been too busy

Sure, I haven’t checked mine in a bit either, but then, I just moved in, most people that found me are spam and advertisements I laughed

She laughed, so true

We talked about other things as we drove home, tv shows and movies we had enjoyed, turns out I have similar tastes in a lot of ways, and eventually we arrived home, parking in the underground garage, we went up to the lobby and both checked our mailboxes. I found a few flyers for restaurants and that was it, and I turned to look and saw Mrs Fredericks just standing there staring at a letter.

It’s uh, its from my son she started, its hand addressed, although I don’t recognize the return address… She looked like she was about to cry, I have no idea what this is about

Hey, Im sure its nothing major or bad, lets go up and if you want, Ill stick around while you read it

Sure, that sounds good, thank you

We went up to her apartment and I set my mail and purse on the counter and sat next to her on the couch while she opened it and read, and then she started crying and I couldn’t get a word out of her, she just passed me the pages of the letter

Dear mom,

I want to start with an apology, I’m sorry for cutting you out of our life, but I know an apology is only part of this, and I don’t know that I can ever undo the harm I’ve done fully, I am so deeply and truly sorry. I can’t adequately explain why I went along with my… soon to be ex… wife’s demands, I wanted to keep her happy. I wanted to be a good father and husband and as I understood it, Christian, but, I was deeply wrong.

Things came to a head when Morgan found a pride pin in Gabby’s backpack, she called a family ‘meeting’ that night to scream at her, and expected me to go along with it. Gabby confessed it was her’s and broke down crying and said she’s a lesbian, and I had to restrain Morgan from slapping Gabby across the face, something we had always said we would never do, and you know me, we’ve never been that way with the kids, for all our disagreements, I’ve tried to be a good father. I sent the kids to their rooms for their safety as much as anything, and managed to get Morgan to calm down about it, that we could work through it calmly as a family, or so I thought.

The next day, while the kids were playing outside, Morgan came to me and started showing me websites of these ‘camps’ where ‘unruly’ kids could be sent to be ‘corrected’ and wanted to send Gabby to one of them as soon as tomorrow and had already called one of them to arrange it. It sounded horrifying, and right then I decided I had to do something. She wanted to send our beautiful daughter to a torture camp in the woods, in another state no less because they aren’t allowed here. I… I decided to pretend to go along with it just long enough to distract her, I told her we should give Gabby a good final supper here, before sending her off, and she agreed to go get some things from the grocery store for it.

I went out and told the kids we had to leave, right now, and to get the things they needed the most for a few days away from home, and that hopefully we could get the rest later. They thankfully nodded and understood and packed swiftly. I got us to a hotel, and she doesn't know details of where I am, and I’ve begun divorce proceedings against Morgan and filed for full custody of the kids on the grounds that she wants to put Gabby through conversion therapy as I have come to learn it is called.

I, I know this is a lot to ask, but I would like to reconnect with you in the near-ish future. I’m going to need references I think for the case. My lawyer is optimistic, but every bit can help. I know I haven’t been the best son, and I have been learning a lot, both from Gabby and things I’ve read online about the things people like Morgan want to do to kids who just want to be themselves.

Once again, I apologize for the past but I know I can’t change it. I hope I can make amends somehow. I am attaching my phone number, I’ve changed it recently due to all of this, and wanting to cut as many ties with her as quickly as I could lest she try and find and harm my kids.

With deepest apologies, your son if you will have me back

I was crying too when I put the letter down on the coffee table. I leaned over and hugged Mrs Fredericks as best I could from beside her and let her lean on my shoulder. She said I know this sounds silly, but I don’t know what to do?

I uh, huh, I would say at least contact him, he made an effort, and it clearly sounds like he has some understanding of what he did wrong, plus, its your grandkids. I’ve learned enough about you this last couple weeks to know how deeply you miss them

I really do she said quietly, thank you for being here for me. You’re right, I’m going to call him tomorrow, and try to work out a time and place to meet, and while I don’t know if I can ever fully forgive him, I can forget enough to see my grandkids again.

That sounds like a good plan, and I will be happy to help any way I can

You are just the sweetest thing Amy, thank you

I looked at my watch and realized how late it had gotten, oh crud, I have work tomorrow and I said I would talk with Lydia first thing, I need to get some sleep, will you be ok tonight? I can come over tomorrow right after work

I’ll be fine, Goodnight dear, thank you for supper, and thank you for being here for me

You are always welcome Mrs Fredericks, goodnight I said as I grabbed my purse and junk mail and headed back to my apartment. I quickly got ready for bed and collapsed, what had been a fairly quiet day turned in to quite an emotional evening, and I was plenty worn out from the weekend in general and fell asleep fast.

---

I awoke with a start as my alarm went off, I’d been in deep sleep and couldn’t remember any of my dreams from the night before today.

I rushed through getting ready and got out of my house 15 minutes earlier than I had been even on early days last week. I got in to the office ok, and found a parking place and did the weird dance of the elevators, and got to the lobby floor of Kleiner Associates. Sarah was at her desk and she waved and I waved back walking up, just going to stop in my office real quick then Lydia asked me to come talk with her I told her

Hopefully nothing bad? She said smiling and crossing her fingers

Her text sounded positive, so we will see

Good luck!

Just going to drop things in my office and check something really quick, talk with you later Sarah

Later!

I got to the office and was surprised to see Frank in early

Oh good morning George, you’re in early

As are you, Lydia wanted to see me about something

Yeah, still checking buildings, sooner we get this over with the sooner we can get back to projects we can bill for our time.

I got my laptop out and quickly checked Slack, no updates since Saturday on either the shelter or the community center discrepancy

Ok, be back in a bit

See ya Frank said without looking up.

I gave a little wave as I passed Sarah to the stairs to the second floor

Sarah waved back

I climbed the stairs and went to Lydia’s office

Colby looked at me and smiled, morning, she’s expecting you but in the middle of the mess, and I think maybe the investigators are in there or on a call, it will be just a minute

Sure I said, how was your weekend, do anything interesting? I asked on automatic without thinking about having to answer how mine was

Oh it was wonderful, went out to a club, danced my fool head off and met a really cute bartender, and yours?

That’s nice, I said, I had a good weekend, went to brunch with a friend and that was about it

Sounds lovely, Colby’s computer dinged

Oh she’s ready for you now, go on in

Thanks Colby!

Yup

I got inside to her usual cluttered but large corner office and she was behind her desk looking frazzled. Good morning she said, please have a seat.

So obviously this weekend I saw in to your personal life in a way I would never have intentionally sought out, what you do with your free time is yours, and for that I really must apologize,

It’s, fine, I guess, really, I’m not a hundred percent ready to be out yet but I guess this saves me figuring out how to to tell you, or who at the company to tell first

And Sarah?

Sarah was volunteering as a driver and serving helper and I didn’t know til I saw her arrive it was our receptionist Sarah, and I came up with the name Amy on the spot, although I do like it

Also, with permission and insistence of my daughters, I guess I can and should tell you why we were there

I, I don’t think that’s necessary for me to know

I think you will understand how ready I am to support you here at work better if I tell you

Oh, ok I said,

For the most part the only people that know the reasons I took this job last year are Colby and the partners. Last summer I was living with my family and working in Florida doing structural engineering at a civil engineering firm. My daughter Brooke came out as trans to us, and we all decided immediately that we couldn’t continue living in Florida as a result, it simply wasn’t safe for her. It also turns out my other daughter is gay, and I’m a bisexual although I’m in a hetero marriage. So anyways, while Im not trans, and I do not fully understand why that is a thing people are… it’s not really necessary. What is necessary is for me to be as supportive as I can be.

I sat there for a moment in a silence that grew more awkward to me each passing moment, that’s kind of amazing I said, thank you for telling me, and I do want to transition and be myself here, I’ve been scared about what it would mean for my career

As long as you are at this firm your job and career is safe…

So, I don’t know if you saw the slack thread, I didn’t see a reply from you on Saturday, but… there was another discrepancy and possibly malicious change made

I did see and that was the call I was on before this…

Did you notice who sponsored that project?

The LGBT center, right, and yes the pattern is at the very least concerning, and the FBI is aware and they’ve started checking the computer records from that change as well, we’ve got at least one review on about 2/3 of the projects at the moment

I’ve got one I saw, a permanent housing for homeless people project up Seattle that caught my eye and I’m going to check it next

Oh I’m aware of that one, and the sponsoring organization isn’t LGBT specific but they are targeting explicitly marginalized people with it or a wide variety, including LGBT… but… before you go, I would suggest you come out to HR about your transition plans when they are more solid, and cc me on any communication with them, and we will put together a plan for how to help you when you come out

Thank I said, and oof, I will get checking that file right away

I’m going to do a high level project overview and see if there are any other likely targeted projects, and triple check them myself

Sounds like a plan, I’ll be down in my office, talk with you later, and I’ll let you know my plans when I know them

Awesome! Have a good day and talk with you later.

I got up and headed out and thanked Colby and headed downstairs to my office and gave a thumbs up sign to Sarah and when I got to my office all three of them were there.

Good morning all, hope you had a nice weekend

They chorused that they had, and Laura asked how my weekend had been

I went to brunch with a friend, but that was about it

So what was your meeting with Lydia about?

Oh she just wanted to check in how I was doing

I sat down and got to work and so did the others. The project had very few changes to check in comparison, but by lunch I had found two suspicious changes I noted in the channel for broader review.

So, we all getting lunch from the conference room Richard asked

Actually I said, I think I would be more interested in the cafe, the selection in the conference hasn’t changed much

Laura agreed, but Frank and Richard decided not to join us. I got a really nice teriyaki chicken bento, and Laura got a custom salad

So, how was your weekend really she asked as we sat down, I got nervous, it was fine and quiet

And supper on Sunday night? Moe’s?

I went white as a sheet, I, uh

Hey, it’s ok, honest, what you do on the weekend is your business, I happened to come in while you were facing the counter, it was pure accident, I’ve been going to Moe’s just about every Sunday for years, so who was your friend?

She’s my neighbor, she’s just a friend, and she’s been helping me out since I moved in and I wanted to treat her to a nice meal and she suggested it

Laura said ahhh, ok, I’ll stop pestering, but uh, you might be more careful being out and about, I’ve even taken Richard and Frank to Moe’s after work sometimes

Oh, I said, yeah, this weekend has been kind of full of run-ins, anyways, I’ll tell you more about it later, when I’m ready

Laura smiled, and said really quietly, you were quite cute, I only recognized you for your voice

I blushed a bit, thanks

We finished our food in mostly silence before heading back down to the office

I arrived back to a computer to find a message from Lydia to the entire team, conference room, now.

Laura and I immediately turned around and headed upstairs to the conference room, we weren’t the last to arrive but a lot of people were already there. The table still had the remnants of lunch on it.

Ok, so, I’m going to tell you all this now, as there is a clear pattern, whoever did this is targeting projects for LGBT organizations. We haven’t done tons in the time window we determined, but every single one has had some important structural detail changed. It is disturbing to think that someone has such bigotry in their heart that they would put lives at stake. The FBI is continuing to help with the computer forensics. For now, you can all return to your previous tasks, we believe we have found all the changes at this point, if you have any questions please reach out to your manager for updated tasks. All right, back to work everyone… then she caught my eye as the others filed out, George, could you stay behind a moment?

Sure I said and stayed against the wall of the conference room while the others filed out, and then Lydia shut the door as the last person left.

Thank you for finding this, further, the senior partners would like to meet you… and I’m told, grant you a significant bonus, while this will harm the companies reputation, us bringing it to light and doing everything in our power to find the culprit and to make amends to those harmed, will ultimately result in less harm than if one of these changes resulted in lawsuits and it came out we had known and done nothing…

I uh, ok, I said, it was just luck

For a new hire to find this in their first week is… kind of amazing, even if it is luck, and you really did save the company an enormous headache down the road, those foundation changes alone would almost have guaranteed partial building collapse had they been built like that. We’ve already spoken with the general contractor who is unsure if they they would’ve noticed in this case, they build a lot of projects of this type though and maybe, but maybe not.

Can, can it wait til it’s resolved? I don’t feel good about it until we know who did it

That would be acceptable, we are hoping to have it more or less resolved soon. she said, pausing briefly, Also, I’ve gone ahead and filed a change order to revert the change to the foundation, have one of your office mates help you understand how to clear that change order and enter it in the log and such.

Sounds good, will have that wrapped up ASAP

Thanks George

I headed out of the conference room and back down to the office, Hey, uh, Laur…, Richard, got a minute? need to learn how to handle this change order I was sent

Sure George, he said, and he helped me through it, it didn’t take too long and I made the save to the log and the project file, the foundations were again correct. Lydia sent me a list of other things to go through a check on on the project, as that was originally what I was going to be working on this week.

I reopened my calculations files and started working through the list of things, and eventually it was the end of the day, I stood up and stretched, and Frank and Richard were already out the door citing appointments

Laura was a bit behind as was I, and she turned to me and said, I want to apologize for lunch, that was the wrong way to tell you, and I probably shouldn’t have said anything

No, I mean, it wasn’t great for my blood pressure and heart rate, but it was a good reminder to be more careful, at least for now

Laura smiled, if you ever need any tips, feel free to reach out, she said handing me a slip with her number on it

Thanks I said

I followed her out the door and up and down the elevators, and she got off at the lobby while I got off in the parking garage. I walked over to my car and got in and faced an annoying amount of traffic to get home.

I got home and Mrs Fredericks greeted me as I fiddled with my lock, Evening Amy she said, how was your day? Would you mind coming over and talking some?

Tell you in a little bit? Need to get some supper in me

Sure sure! she said shutting her door, I went inside and dropped my things and decided on a whim to put back on the top and shorts before eating. I heated up the last of the left over goulash, and ate it along with some other things I had around. I finished up eating, and started a load of laundry including the dress which thankfully had simple instructions on its tag.

I grabbed my keys and locked my door behind me and went over to knock on Mrs Fredericks door who told me to come on in, I entered and she was sitting in her recliner and she looked up from her crocheting and

That is still a cute outfit on you Amy, she said waving me over to the couch next to her

I came in and sat down, thanks I said

So how was your day? Good I hope?

It was… surprising… part of the crisis has come to an end, and other parts are still ongoing but are out of my hands, and my talk with my boss this morning about coming out was positive, and I need to get in contact with HR to work out a coming out plan, and I guess talk with my therapist this week about it some…

Oh wow, that’s a pretty big step

Yeah… anyways, lunch was the first big surprise… so you know a few people came in to Moe’s Sunday night while we were there?

Yeah…

One of them was my office mate Laura, recognized my voice

Oh, Im so sorry, it was my idea to go there

There’s no way you could’ve known, and… it seems to be fine, she told me my outfit was cute, and just wanted to make sure I was being careful, which, well, I haven’t really been, she also offered to provide advice if I ever wanted it

This is new to you, and exciting, and you want to be you, thats understandable, Im not going to tell you to slow down, you go at whatever pace you want to, and I will support you no matter what.

Thanks I said, and how was your day? Did you call your son?

She hesitated, I did, and I got through to him, it was, not the most pleasant conversation I’ve ever had, but, I managed to ultimately get through it, and… I agreed to a meet up next Saturday night, at Moe’s… he will be bringing my grandkids with him, and… he agreed I could have one friend beyond Moe with me as backup and support…

And you are wondering if I would come?

She nodded quietly and said yeah, I know its a lot to ask

I mean, of course I’m willing to go along and do what I can, but also, I feel like I would be a distraction, either as your brand new neighbor George or as Amy, a barely out trans woman

I think a distraction might be helpful to be honest, and… I would be happy to have you looking however you want

I wouldn’t mind being Amy more, outside of work for now, but I definitely need to learn more and have more options than shorts and a top and a dress…

I might be convinced to go shopping with you some night this week, or maybe Laura? You said she offered help

I’ll think on it I said, and yeah? Maybe?

We talked a bit more, before eventually I said, I should get back and change laundry loads, kind of didn’t get it done this weekend

You have a good night Amy, I’m so glad you moved in here

I am too Mrs Fredericks, goodnight! I said as I got up and headed over to my apartment and unlocked it and went inside. Just barely remembering to change laundry loads, before setting down in front of the tv for a bit before bed and the last load swap. After I put the last load in the dryer, I quickly got ready for bed and collapsed

---

My first alarm went off and I didn’t notice, but I did notice my second one and rushed out of bed through breakfast and getting dressed for work, grabbing my bag and heading out the door. I wound up arriving just a bit past nine, greeted my office mates and quickly got to work

The morning was boring, lunch was boring for the most part, but, I sent a slack message to Kayla

Hello Kayla, I have something I need to talk with HR about, but I don’t feel entirely comfortable discussing it on Slack, would you have time for an appointment at some point this week?

The team all went up to the cafeteria, we talked about unimportant things, and when I got back from lunch I saw a message from Kayla on Slack,

Sure thing, I’ve gone ahead and put a calendar invite for tomorrow morning, if that time doesn’t work for you, let me know and we can adjust

I opened my calendar app and accepted the invite, and got back to my other tasks, I was making good progress on my validations for the project, and I figured I would have it done easily by end of Friday

At the end of the day we all headed to our respective homes and I greeted Mrs Fredericks who I told I needed a quiet evening at home tonight. I made a sandwich and sat down and turned the tv on and got my laptop out and found a resource page on a site linked from the Wilhelm transition care site that had advice for coming out at work, and I read that, and then decided to check on the author of the story that Brian had come out in the last chapter, hoping for an early update. I scrolled her feed a bit and realized that the next update would be out Friday as it had been already been a few weeks when I read that last month. Also the author promised no view point switches on a cliff hanger this time, which I had noticed authors do sometimes.

I started reading other tweets in her feed, talking about some horrible site that had gotten taken down and she seemed very happy about that, I had never heard of it but was glad it was gone given the snippets she shared about her own experience and some of the other experiences she retweeted… I learned what the meme of an ‘egg’ meant and there was some apt ness, I had hidden it deep inside me for a long time, thinking it was too nonsense to even dream about. I eventually was tired and had my fill of the internet and it’s nonsense good and bad and went to get ready for bed and quickly fell asleep

---

I awoke right before my alarm went off and sighed, I wish my body had let me get fifteen minutes more. I awoke up, groggy, and blearily went through getting ready for the day, making breakfast, checking my phone for messages and mail, and browsing social media a bit. I got dressed, grabbed my things and headed in to the office a bit earlier.

Traffic was surprisingly light and I wound up getting there and upstairs a whole half hour early. Laura was the next to arrive she greeted me warmly as she came in the office.

Hey George, and how are you this morning?

I’m.. ok, nervous, talking with Kayla I’m HR today about it…

Oh! Exciting, but I can understand your nerves. Kayla’s as nice as an HR person can be though, it should be an easy enough meeting

That’s good, and uh, I have a question and possibly a favor I need to ask

Oh? Shoot!

Well, I was wondering if maybe you would know some good places for me to start building a more me wardrobe… and maybe whether you would be willing to go with me sometime

Oh! Sure, how’s Friday evening? I had my plans fall through so I’m free

Oh wow, really?

Yup! Happy to help, admittedly I’ve never done this before but I will do my best

I’m sure you’ll do great, better than I probably will I said quietly

Right then the office door popped open and in walked Richard and Frank, good morning you two they said, you look like you were in the middle of something interesting conversation wise, want us to go back out Richard offered?

No its fine I said, we just finished it, time to get to work I said smiling

Right, ok Frank said

I sat down at my computer and pulled open my files on checking the project, I had gotten about 2/3 of the list done, but some of the tasks remaining involved a lot more work. I set about working on them for a bit until my calendar beeped at me and informed me my meeting with Kayla up in HR. I got up explaining to my office mates I had a brief meeting and would see them for lunch in the cafeteria if thats where they were headed today, which they agreed sounded good to them and that they would meet me there.

I walked over to the elevator lobby and waved at Sarah as I walked by and took an elevator up to the third of the companies floors. I got off and vaguely remembered my way to Kayla’s office, this floor was less easy to navigate than the first or second floor. I got to her door and hesitated, feeling my anxiety spike, I had so far only told my therapist and Mrs Fredericks, this would be the first person I barely knew to tell. I raised my hand and took a deep breath and knocked on her door, my heart rate immediately spiking as I did so.

I heard her call out, come on in George from the other side of the door, and I opened the door and walked in, shutting it behind me, she looked up briefly from her computer, oh hey, good morning George, you look nervous? What’s up? And is there anything I can do to put your mind at ease? She gestured to her chairs and I carefully sat in one, not entirely trusting my legs at this point

Well, uh, I don’t really know how to say this, but uh, I want to know, what would be the companies policy on, uh, transitioning, at work

Transitioning? Like to work from home? or a different position? or a different company? or…?

From me to… well, also me, but a woman, as in transitioning my gender…

Oh! Huh, you know, I don’t think we’ve ever had an employee transition… however, we’ve had some family members do so, and I’ve fielded questions about benefits and stuff before and I guarantee we provide the best coverage we know how to and are always looking to improve… and Im sure we can figure out the rest of it! I might need to do a bit of research

Also… theres another aspect to this…

Oh?

My boss, and two other coworkers already know, none of them found out because I told them, but also, it wasn’t their fault, it was all coincidences and accidents

Uh huh, so your boss is Lydia, what other coworkers found out? And can you give a bit more detail?

Sarah, the receptionist, and my office mate Laura and I guess I can elaborate a bit… I quickly recounted the stories to Kayla who nodded along and took notes, I didn’t mention the details Lydia had told me about her kids.

Right, ok, well Im sorry that you didn’t get to pick your time of coming out to them, I know that that can be hard on a person, but it sounds like you and they are mostly ok with it?

Uh, yeah, they seem ok with it, and I was kind of surprised but I feel relatively ok with it to, they were going to know eventually

So, do you have any particular timeline on coming out and transitioning yet?

I mean, the sooner the better, and its gotten more urgent since I started being myself sometimes

Hrm, let me do like, a day’s research on this topic, and how best to handle it from the companies end, Im sure there’s resources out there…

Absolutely, and please let me know what you figure out. I have another therapy appointment Friday morning and Ill be talking to her about this roller coaster of a week and my future

Therapy is good, did you tell her you would be coming out at work?

Not yet

Im sure it will be fine with her, anyways, so, one last maybe too far question for right now, but do you have a name in mind yet?

I uh, I was going by Amy this weekend, and I do kind of like it

Oh Amy’s a lovely name, it suits you

I blushed a bit, thanks

Ok, so Im going to do research, you are going to talk to your therapist, and Ill keep you updated as figure this out

Sounds like a plan I said smiling

And she leaned over and offered her hand, and may I be the first at the company to welcome you, Amy, to Kleiner Associates

I laughed and shook her hand, thanks I said, and I got up and was just about to head out when Kayla piped up

Wait, one quick question for permission sake, can I talk with Lydia about this? Especially the incident this weekend? I know it was an accident, but I gotta dot my t’s and cross my i’s she said

Sure, I said, thats fine, and headed out shutting the door behind me again, and let out a huge sigh of relief, and headed towards the elevator bank. I had to wait a bit for an elevator as the first was positively overflowing, and when I got to the sky lobby the place was quite busy already, I found some good looking fried chicken of some sort and then saw my officemates who were already seated with their food wave me over.

So! How was your meeting Richard asked

It went well, thanks, just trying to wrap my head around some of the benefits info and scheduled a time to talk to HR

They can be confusing at first Frank said, and we don’t have the huge team that bigger companies might just to promote and clarify them

Yeah, so, how’s your current task going? Laura asked

It’s good, should have it done Friday easily

Thats good Richard said, and don’t worry about speed, eventually you’ll be able to knock verification of a building like that out in an afternoon

But would I catch the foundations?

I mean, probably, probably contractor, or, well, the sub contractor would’ve, they do it enough they would’ve noticed something that drastically off

Thats good I said, wonder if they made any progress on catching the person

Frank said I hope they find him soon

Why him? I asked puzzled

Well, most of the people at the company who have knowledge of how to do that are guys, its just statistically more likely

Thats true Laura said, theres only a handful of women at the company, wish we would hire more

I sat there thinking, well, its probably hard to, I mean, the number of women in architecture and various other related disciplines isn’t terribly high

The pipeline problem Richard chimed in,

Laura chipped back, yeah, well, the pipeline is leaky as a sieve clear back to grade school, I had teachers who told me I shouldn’t worry about math or science as young as grade school because I was a girl…

Ew I said…

Yeah Laura said sighing

What followed was an awkward at best silence for a while as we sat there eating our lunch

Frank changed the subject eventually and they talked about some tv show that was popular for a bit. I hadn’t seen it, it wasn’t really my genre but the others were enthusiastic about it. We finished eating and

When we got back to our office I noticed on Slack I had a couple messages from Kayla

Heyo, just letting you know I was so fascinated I worked through lunch by mistake, but, the research I’ve done mostly says I, and HR and your manager should encourage you to go at whatever pace you feel comfortable with, and theres no real right, or wrong way to go about it per se. I also made sure to get ahold of some materials for training, and I’ve already drafted a company policy memo reaffirming the right of people to use whatever restroom they feel most comfortable in

Also, I found a couple sample coming out letters I’ll email you if you want to see those, please feel free to deviate from them however much you wish though!

I’ve also touched base with Lydia, and she’s ready to support you as well, and confirmed your version of events and was very apologetic, she also explained why she was there, which you hadn’t, and I appreciate that and assured her you hadn’t said a word that would out anyone

I messaged back quickly

Thanks Kayla, that was really quick! I’ll look at the letters and talk them over with my therapist, depending on what I decide, how fast or slow can I go?

Your pace and timeline is entirely up to you, I, HR, and Lydia, as well as the rest of the company will support you if you wish to come out before transition, right at, or after starting in some form… Also… I was thinking of sending out the memo about the bathroom policy today, I need to run it by my manager first, but I won’t explain the details of why

That sounds fine to me, that way its not directly connected with me at least

Exactly! Anyways, will let you get back to it, expect to get an email in to one of your way too many folders that most will ignore sometime later this afternoon, as well as one to you with the sample letters

Thanks again Kayla

YW

I changed the slack tab and got back to my task, finishing up checking various plumbing and electrical bits of the apartment complex, it all seemed pretty straight forward and proper, and by a bit before the end of the day, I was done with those aspects as well. I was about to sign off when my computer dinged with mail, and I saw the sample letters come in, and remembered to check my other inboxes, of which the server set up many. I found an office policy memo’s folder with a couple unread, and there it was…

To whom it may concern, this is a policy reaffirming the right of anyone in the office to use the restroom they most feel comfortable in, and that regardless of how you may view them, they will know best what that is. As usual, sexual harassment and such will continue to not be tolerated, but simply going to a different restroom than you think they should does not constitute that. Our restrooms have excellent dividers in them, and no one should be peeking under or over the doors to see who’s in them.

Followed by the HR director’s name

I smiled and noticed Laura finishing up her work and messaged her

check your memo email folder before you leave for the day

She quickly messaged back

I saw! I take it that was inspired by you? but done early so as to not provide direct link?

yeah, Kayla was great

Oh thats wonderful, any timeline yet?

No, but honestly? its feeling more urgent in my mind the more I think about it

Well let me know, and we will figure out Friday where we are headed

Right, thanks again for that

You’re welcome, have a good one

She locked her computer and got up and headed out, have a good evening all she said, to a chorus of laters from us.

I got up and got packing my stuff up as well, and then I noticed Frank typing rather furiously at his keyboard, and I glanced and saw what appeared to be the HR memo he was replying to or forwarding, I blanched but hoped it was nothing and walked out saying goodbye to Frank and Richard as well. I was taking deep breaths to try and keep calm as I rode the elevator up and down, today had gone so well, and I was hoping it was just nothing. I got off the elevator and headed to my car, and tried to remain calm as I drove home, and by the time I got home, I kind of oddly, did, traffic was a bit stressful, but, it was very distracting from all that had transpired today.

Mrs Fredericks greeted me warmly and I told her good evening and I would tell her more about today another time, I had a simple supper and distracted myself reading the sample coming out letters and drafting one of my own. It was surprisingly hard, at some point the bandaid has to be ripped off, you can try and soften it as much as you want, but all the same…

I left a half finished draft open on my laptop as I collapsed in bed.

Part 4