This is a work of (fan) fiction, any resemblance to real people or places is purely coincidence. Inspired by Severance, Copyright Endeavor Content LLC 2022.

Becky K., A Severed Diary

So honestly, when I woke up on that table, I was surprisingly calm, I didn’t know how I had gotten there, or even where I had been.

And then I heard a voice asking me to remain calm, which was a bit creepy, I already was calm and this was making me less so.

I realized I couldn’t remember, well, anything, there was a complete gap before today, nothing

Did I have amnesia? Why was I here?

The voice proceeded to gently explain that I had undergone the severance procedure, and on a screen I saw me, sitting at a table, reading a statement saying I had willingly signed up for this procedure

I was now the professional side so to speak of my ‘outie’, an ‘innie’, and all I would ever know was in here. It freaked me out, a bit to be honest.

My boss introduced herself, her name was Kelly T., and my name was Robert K.

We would be working in Audio Classification, which sounded extremely vague to me, and it was.

The job basically was sitting at a terminal in a room with my fellow innie’s at a terminal, with a headset on and entering brief descriptions of samples of audio.

It was repetitive, and weird, the audio was frequently very similar but the descriptions my brain spat out were wildly different.

My first week, an Audio classification coworker convinced me to join him in exploring a bit. The halls were a liminal maze, and to be honest I got horribly turned around and opened a door. Inside was a room full of extremely cute little cakes and a person decorating more. I was surprised, she looked up in shock too

And then Mr Klein found me. And I got my first trip to the break room. It uh, was not fun. At all. And I was determined to not visit it ever again.

I did well, I met my quota for my first quarter on the job, although just barely, and while the party was odd, it was a nice change of pace.

As the next quarter started, eight hours a day, 5 days a week I would listen to the audio files and type descriptions.

But then odd things started happening, I started getting flashes of memory. They had swore this was impossible, and that I simply couldn’t, but after that trip to the break room, I knew not to bring it up.

They weren’t coherent, but I saw glimpses of my outie when I/we were younger, and who I think must have been my parents.

Even more odd things started happening, I felt an itching sensation on my chest, and I sometimes got weird headaches. I got Kelly to arrange an appointment with a doctor one day it got so bad, but the doctor gave me a clean bill of health and some over the counter pills for the pain.

And then, a really odd thing happened, Kelly told me her boss, Miss Coates wanted to see me.

Hello Robert, she said, please, have a seat.

We have something we wish to share from your outie. This is perhaps an unusual thing, but not unheard of and here at Lumon we want to support the whole you, both your innie and outie. With that in mind we have agreed to let your outie share a message with you.

A tv monitor was wheeled in by her assistant, Mr Carrie, who started a video playing. It was me, well, my outie, again… except it wasn’t, because he, was, well, a woman.

Hello Robert T, I want to talk with you about something kind of personal, and Lumon has granted me special permission to share this with you.

I’m transgender, and I’m not entirely sure if you will understand what that means, although I’ve been told you should. Lumon is paying for my transition, this is something I have wanted all my life.

The reason I’m telling you this is because you too are about to transition, I know, you don’t remember anything about my life, and I don’t know anything of your life, but things will start being obvious soon and you needed to know.

I fully intend to start coming to the Severed floor as a woman, and that will entail some adjustments on your part.

I know this will probably be hard for you, but Lumon was the only employer who had any kind of coverage for transition care in the area, and this was the only job here I could get here. Thank you for all you are doing for me, for us

The video ended

Do you understand what your outie means?

I, I guess? I know the word and it’s definition, but what will my coworkers think? I don’t know anything about being a woman, or what they wear

Kelly has already been informed and said she would support you through this, and we don’t expect issues with your teammates

Will… will my name change?

Your Outie has chosen the name Becky, and you will be Becky K.

We’ve scheduled a wellness session following this, Mr Carrie will show you how to get there.

I stood and politely said, thank you Miss Coates

Miss Coates replied your welcome and gestured towards the door

I walked out and there was Mr Carrie, waiting, with that perpetual smile of his on. He led me through the maze of corridors until we arrived at a room marked Wellness, and gestured for me to go inside.

Inside was a small room with a pair of couches and some artwork on the walls.

The artwork was one of the weirder things about working here, it changed monthly, and was always slightly unsettling to look at.

I sat down to wait and almost immediately the inner door opened, and a woman stepped out, Becky K.? She asked looking at me

I hesitated and nodded, that’s me, I guess

Come in Becky

I don’t know what I expected, but, that was decidedly not it? She barely let me speak, listed some generic sounding traits of my outie, and went over briefly some of the changes I might expect.

And then it was over. As I exited, Mr Carrie was there to help guide me back, I tried to pay attention but these hallways were terrible.

We arrived at the Audio Classification room, where Kelly greeted me more warmly than usual at the door

Come, let’s reintroduce you to the team!

I, I’m not sure I’m ready?

It will be fine! Lumon’s principles include cheer and benevolence, they will be happy for you and care about you

We walked towards the cluster of desks in the oversized room

Team, Robert’s outie is going through an important change, and so will Robert, going forward, Robert K will be Becky K, and I expect all of you to live up to Kier’s ideals for us.

My coworkers were in fact, cheerful about it, although perhaps as surprised as I was.

We got back to the work of classifying audio and it was odd, the flashes of memory started again, and they were less disjointed than before.

And then the day was done, it was a Friday, so I was effectively it going to exist for 2.5 days, which was always disconcerting. My heart rate jumped as the elevator doors opened. Next time I woke up, I would be Becky… I think…

I got on the elevator and the doors closed and the ascent started. And shortly the switch happened

---

And then, perhaps, something odd happened. I had a dream of my outies life. Innies don’t dream, at least I hadn’t ever before.

At least I think it was a dream, I know what being awake is like and this wasn’t that, but we don’t exactly get to sleep much less dream. I saw myself, in a dress, twirling and laughing, and then it was gone and I was back in the elevator… and wearing a dress, although not the one from the dream.

It was an… odd… sensation. I didn’t feel as disconnected as before somehow? Which is an exceptionally odd thing for an Innie to feel as I understood the process…

As the day went on, I ate some food from the kitchen, used the single stall bathroom same as before, although keeping the dress out of the way was a bit more of a hassle…

Kelly seemed nicer to me now for some reason, taking time away from her own classifying to make sure I was doing ok.

As I worked I got more and more flashes of my outies life before Lumon. I remembered the stress and depression, the feeling of euphoria trying a dress on the first time. I didn’t really know what to do.

They were so vivid I couldn’t write descriptions and I just sat there staring and Kelly noticed

Are you ok Becky? She asked taking my headphones off

I snapped out of it, yeah, sorry, this is just a bit overwhelming.

Are you ok? You are past pace to make quota this quarter, and so are the rest of us, what say we all take a trip?

A trip to where? Not like we can go outside

I think it would be good for you to see the perpetuity wing

What’s that?

Frank R. Spoke up, it’s like a museum

Brenda B. chipped in, a creepy one

It’s not creepy! Frank snipped back, it reminds us of the glory of Kier. But do you have permission?

Miss Coates thought Becky might need a break today and offered it to us in advance

Unexpected perks? I don’t know… Brenda said, sounds suspicious… but it gets me out of this for awhile so I’ll come..

The five of us set off through the corridors, how Kelly knew where to go I couldn’t fathom

I fell in kind of the back of the pack with Bob R. So I said quietly to him, what is it really?

Well, both of Brenda and Frank are right, it’s a company museum, and it’s creepy

I had long since learned to be unsurprised how empty things were, just liminal hallway after liminal hallway. Sometimes we passed a conference room or other mildly interesting thing, but never other people. The only person I had ever seen outside of my team, Miss Coates, Mr Carrie and Mr Klein, was the pastry chef.

We came to a final corner and at the end of a short hallway was a pair of big double doors, with the words ‘Perpetuity Wing’ over it.

We went inside, and there were statues, or something, they seemed a bit fuzzy, almost like a projection of some sort, of the founder and his descendants who ran Lumon, praise kier and that kind of thing.

We walked on and came to a room with pictures of eyes, not pairs of them, just a single eye each image, no two alike

And what’s this? The trypophobia room? I asked

I think maybe the opthalmophobia room would fit better Brenda said

Frank said that’s rude both of you, see how the eyes are smiling at us? Laugh and smile lines visible on all of them, each of them helped by us

Wait we do vision stuff? Wait what do we do? I asked

We classify Audio Kelly responded quickly, which serves the greater purpose of the company, whatever that is, is wonderful, all these smiling eyed people we’ve helped.

I nodded, getting the picture, I didn’t want a break room visit anymore than any one else did.

We kept walking past various displays til we came to a large open room, with what were possibly translucent skylights, and in the middle was a house. A large imposing brick edifice. Kiers home supposedly, and inside we walked through the museum, reading various placards. Brenda touched the bed which was roped off with a sign saying don’t touch when only I could see and winked at me sending me in to a fit of giggling.

What’s so funny? Frank asked

This whole thing, this place is creepy, and kind of amazing at the same time

Frank glared at me, Brenda gave me a thumbs up and Bob just smiled

Well that’s the tour! Kelly said as we exited the kind of creepy mansion

Thanks I said, to you and Miss Coates, this was a good diversion

We walked back through the corridors I still found incredibly confusing to our teams space.

Kelly encouraged us to get a few more clips classified before we headed out, and I put my headphones on and tried again. I had no further repeats of the memories that day.

We took the elevator up individually, and spaced out from each other so our outies didn’t interact too much which I found odd. If the process is so thorough, why should it matter if outies were friends too?

As the elevator ascended I thought about how weird this was and then I was descending again, in a nice skirt and top. Huh, that’s different I thought looking at myself as I got off the elevator.

I hadn’t had any more memories leak through, or dreams, and I kept at what I was doing, as it seemed harmless enough, the audio wasn’t identifiable to any people…

This continued day in and day out and it was the weekend again, a mere forty some hours of my existence later, I was ascending to another weekend as my outie.

---

It happened again as I descended to the severed floor after the weekend, a dream, this time me in shortalls running through a field, laughing and screaming

Huh, I thought, maybe it’s something to do with the weekend? How odd. As the day progressed my head started filling with memories again. I shoved them aside as best I could but my pace definitely slackened off as the day progressed.

I wondered if there was some way to get all my memories back, or if I should report this, but no, the break room, I absolutely did NOT want to visit it again.

Life continued…

Our team was doing well and on pace to meet our quota with almost a whole week to spare, and while my pace on what I mentally thought of as Mondays wasn’t great, it was fine.

When we made quota, Mr Carrie came in and announced that as a result of our outstanding progress we would all be getting a special perk, and brought in a cart with sushi on it. It was all really amazing and I even had bits of memory flashes during this on a Friday

And for the top classifier in terms of both count of files and consistency of quality, Mr Carrie started, there will be a pancake party tonight!

Kelly asked well don’t leave us in suspense, who was it?

Mr Carrie grinned huge, the top classifier for this quarter was Becky!

I looked confused, and what is a pancake party?

Bob said it’s a surprise! Also I guess I have competition now! I got the last 4 pancake parties

Huh I said, ok, sounds great, pancakes sound good

The others drifted out one at a time, a few minutes apart, til it was just Mr Carrie and I left

If you will follow me this way Becky

He led me through the twisting corridors, til we arrived at the doors to the Perpetuity wing,

In there? I said sounding hesitant

Yes, go to Kiers house and the waffle party is there

I went in, the museum was dimly lit except the path to Kiers house, which inside was the same. There was a single place setting at the table in the dining room on the first floor, which had a covered tray on it.

I sat in the chair and lifted the cover and the most delicious looking fluffy pancakes were under it, with a side of bacon and a glass of OJ and a glass of water on the table.

I grabbed the syrup and decided to just go with it. I started hungrily eating them, and when I was finished, I noticed other lights come on, leading upstairs

Well, not been much of a party so far I guess, maybe there’s more upstairs?

I walked cautiously upstairs, and followed the lights to Kiers bedroom.

The rope around the bed was gone, as was the sign saying do not sit and the lights definitely focused on the bed

I thought ok, this is super creepy and turned to head back out except all the lights were off and there was no way I could navigate out of here without at least some light… I reluctantly headed to the bed, and perched on the edge of it and called uh hello, can anyone hear me? Kind of creeped out here!

Suddenly I heard music, and from the door appeared several people in masks and not much else

I screamed. Loud. I didn’t stop screaming. My mind started connecting memories again, and I was terrified, past experiences of my outie came rushing in to my brain, the torment, the teasing… the abuse… Suddenly I felt myself being slapped and I started to slap whoever it was back by reflex, but they grabbed my wrist before I could make contact

Just breathe Becky, he said calmly, I worked on breathing and the tunnel vision I had developed started clearing

Mr Carrie was there

Did you not like the pancake party?

I uh, what the fuck was that

Just the party, nothing to be scared of, they wouldn’t have hurt you

I, I think I want to go home now

Sure, the parties over, let me help you to the elevator.

He helped me to my feet and guided me to the elevator through the twisting halls. I was numb, what had happened? I saw more of my outies life flashing in my mind. And then the elevator came, and I got on, and headed upstairs to my outie and a weekend.

---

As I came back down the elevator, I realized that while there was a shift, it wasn’t the same as previously, it wasn’t a dream like, no I felt nearly whole. I was so surprised I gasped coming off the elevator, what was happening??

My outie’s memories were there pretty much fully there, I knew everything she knew, all the things we shouldn’t, brand names, places, faces, my family, where I was born. However, I was still detached from them somewhat. I knew I wasn’t my outie, and she wasn’t me. I didn’t have detailed short term memory, like what I read in the newspaper this morning was blank, but I knew my mom’s name was Karin, and that I had seen her last weekend, and that there was a fight.

I wasn’t really sure what to do, but I knew what they would do if I told them about this and I, we, needed this. Lumon was a last desperate bastion of support for our transition. So I did my best, I started classifying audio, and making jokes about what my outie must be like, pretending to not know.

Over the next week, I realized my outie still had no idea what was going on in here, and that while the system seems to have broken partway down, it wasn’t like the severance had been reversed entirely.

This continued for a whole year, I was relatively stable, I was able to notice certain changes in my appearance which were not unpleasant, and some that were disconcerting. I had never had a beard, but then I started regularly having my reddish blond facial hair growing out, for electrolysis as my outies memories eventually revealed.

I didn’t get another pancake party, but I did meet quota each quarter

And then I got called to Miss Coates office again, and the tv was wheeled in again. It was turned on and my outie was there again and I vaguely remembered making this, although not why.

Hello me, it’s time I told you of an upcoming life change for us. I will be getting gender confirmation surgery.

What does this mean? Well, our penis is going to be inverted and a vagina formed. This is major surgery and we have been preparing for it for a year now, and it’s coming up shortly, in just a weeks time.

It does have a lengthy recovery process, you will be out for what I am told is a full quarter. When you return your body will be and feel different, it won’t be fully recovered yet but it should be far enough along to come in for a shortened day

The tape had a bit more on it but I was a bit zoned out, this was surprising and my face showed it, I had access to her memories but not everything she was doing and this was… major

Miss Coates spoke up, Lumon is happy to provide the very best medical care for our employees, and while we will miss having you here every day, you will be back!

What… what about the team, and quota?

Quotas have been adjusted to compensate, you needn’t worry about them

Does Kelly know?

Only that you are going to be away for the quarter

That’s good, I don’t think I want her to know,

Of course, also, we have a wellness session scheduled for you

Thanks

Mr Carrie offered to guide me but I had been back about once a month since then and had finally learned my way to and from that particular place.

It was once again odd, from my memories outside I knew this was not your typical therapy, and the vague statements about my outie were not wrong, but could probably apply to many, but it didn’t really matter, it was a break in the routine.

And then the week was over and I said goodbye to my coworkers and that I would see them all soon, sooner for me.

---

Now, I know what you are thinking dear reader, that I am going to skip forward, which isn’t what happened.

I woke up in the hospital. I was surprised, I knew it was me, the whole me, no more outie and innie stuff, our personality and memory had fully reconnected.

I could remember everything from inside Lumon, not that it was much, and everything from outside, and again it wasn’t much.

It didn’t last though, when the anesthesia wore off entirely, I submerged back, and she lost access to me, and I lost access to her.

I came to a couple times when the pain meds kicked in

She knew this too and we agreed that while this arrangement was working, we needed to plan our exit, and that she would take care of it.

---

Eventually I woke up again, descending the elevator to the severed floor.

Mr Carrie greeted me as the doors opened, welcome back Becky K! He said loudly and walked with me to the pod where Audio Classification worked

To my surprise, there was a banner up welcoming me back, and my coworkers all gathered around a table full of little appetizers and punch

The party was good and it was good to see them all again. We eventually got back to work. Life continued, quarter in and quarter out. My connection to my memories got sharper, til I even had short term memory and I knew the time was coming. I could tell she still had no access to me or my memories.

Now I might suppose dear reader you are wondering how you are reading this.

Well, on bathroom breaks I’ve been writing this on bits of sneaked copy paper, and hiding it in the bathroom under the tank. I even have an idea how to smuggle a copy of this out but most likely dear reader, you are a fellow severed employee, and this has been my tale of reconnecting with myself.

Todays my last day in here, my outie has made all the plans to get away as cleanly and as far as possible. Miss Carrie showed me a video on Monday announcing my retirement, and my coworkers and I had a party today celebrating my last day. It’s been good, and I’m glad I could help her by being here and doing, well, whatever it is I’ve been doing.

I’ve still not figured it out, even with access to both innies and outies knowledge.

Good luck to you, and I wish you the best of luck in avoiding getting caught reading this.